Chapter 6

Shivay unlocked and locked his phone for the tenth time. It was a Saturday night and it was a habit to order food from outside and watch a movie. It started when he still had active and stressful life outside with work and other social commitments, but he still kept on the ritual.

What differed from rest of the Saturdays was that Annika was still working. Generally she leaves in the evening after preparing his dinner. However, today, Vihaan had a weekend camp out activity that his school organized and so she had to drop him there before she came to work. Now, Annika was still in the house doing chores.

Shivay was put in a predicament wondering if he should order for her as well.

It has only been a week since Diwali. Ever since he spent a day with Vihaan and Annika, he had started to feel as if he had inadvertently formed a bond with them that was strangely moving beyond a regular employee boss line. Every day he had religiously began questioning about Vihaan. The other day Shivay even gave the whole chocolate box sent to him by a client to Vihaan without taking a single piece for himself. When Annika refused to take it stating that his generosity should not spoil her son, he reasoned saying that he was trying to lose weight and so should stay away from anything tempting. That was only half truth, because as soon as Shivay saw the chocolate box he had only thought about Vihaan and the toothy smile he would give on seeing the box.

Shivay didn't know what attracted him to that boy. He has never been a kids type of person. Maybe it's just his age and his fatherly instincts are due to it seeing a small kid. If everything had gone according to his plans, then Shivay would have had a son or daughter and would have been a proud father. Perhaps, like women, even men after certain age start to feel their biological clock ticking and their paternal instincts gets activated.

Shivay felt he owed Annika dinner. Not because she let him spend his Diwali with her family or not even because she was present there and he was obliged to order for her out of being kind. He wanted to do it purely because he felt that he would like having dinner with her.

"Dinner?" Annika looked unsure. If he was only asking for the sake of being nice, then she doesn't want to be overstepping. "I don't think it's a good idea. I got to return early. Vihaan is out for the night, so I might as well get some work done at home."

"The restaurant is just 15 minutes away. They surely must be expecting my order and will deliver soon. Just stay for another hour." Annika still didn't seem convinced. A 'no' was on the tip of her tongue. "I haven't had dinner with someone in a long time. I would appreciate your company truly. Please."

Annika would only call her heartless if she could deny such an earnest invitation. If Shivay asked her to work overtime for one month in that tone, with that look, then she might even agree to it.

It was just a dinner. Nothing scandalous. Also, Annika couldn't help but accept to herself that she enjoyed her interactions with Shivay more when they are not being boss and employee.

***

"I can't believe you are ordering spicy kebabs but not going to pair it up with good wine, that too on a Saturday night." Annika said with the most innocently startled expression she could manage.

If he wants them to have dinner together, he might as well make good use of those salivating bottles of wine he has in his collection.

When Shivay got back to where Annika was sitting on the floor in the balcony, he moved the cushion away and sat across her. They had a small four legged stool to serve as dining table. Throw pillows were spread across and two yellow lights on either side of the wall gave a fine dining setting.

"If we can add some classic English songs and forget these takeout boxes, we can pretend we are in the restaurant at Radisson Blu. " Annika said sipping her wine.

"You have been there!!" Shivay didn't want to sound surprised to the point of offending her. His voice became high pitched than expected and he suddenly felt guilty was asking how she could have been dined a star hotel.

Annika laughed looking at Shivay's apologetic expression." You don't have to look guilty for asking that." She said. "I have been there once. It's been a long time, but I remember the dinner. " she said. When Shivay still looked guilty, to add spice to the conversation she added, "It actually was a date."

"Interesting. "Shivay nodded as he served food on both their plates.

"My date was a disaster, but I liked their potato nuggets."

"Food done well is half the date done well."

"Well said." Annika raised her glass in toast to that and Shivay clanked their glasses together saying 'Cheers'.

"Wow! This Biriyani is amazing." Annika commented taking a spoonful from her plate.

"It is." Shivay agreed. "But, not as good as yours though."

"Really!!" Annika looked at him with a huge grin."You like my Biriyani?"

"Oh! I love your cooking. I don't know if I am allowed to say this, because my mom says I should be the kind of boss who always acts unsatisfied with your work."Shivay rolled his making Annika giggle. "You are an amazing cook. Better than anyone. Better than even my mom. In fact, I can eat your pasta every day."

"Aww!!!" Annika cried."Now, you sound exactly like Vihaan."

"Then that boy has excellent taste." Shivay pointed out.

The conversation between them didn't have a direction, but it was never scarce. They were so eager to tell each other many things that one wouldn't even complete saying one thing before the next started.

"Ah!" Annika sighed and looked at the ceiling. "It feels great to drink after such a long time."

"You must have restrictions with a kid at home."

"Yeah, but that is not the only reason. I am not going to hide from Vihaan that his mother likes wine or some strong Vodka at times. I am one of those prudish mother, you know. Drinking or any other so called bad habits for that matter is not going to be hidden from him for long. So, I will always be completely honest to him about everything. These are choices that he has to make as a grown up when he is of age. My true responsibility is to make him sensible enough that when time comes he makes right decision for him and his dear ones."

Shivay looked at Annika with a knowing smile playing on his lips.

"You don't agree with me, do you?"

Shivay lifted the glass to his lips and took a sip."I can't tell." He shrugged. "I am not a parent, you know. So, I am not sure how parenting is supposed to be. But, I am a son and I would be delighted if my mother is going to follow this kind of parenting where she treats me with respect and trusts me enough to take my own decisions on the same time always being by my side to support me." Shivay gave her a heartfelt smile. "You are a good mother, Annika."

"Thank you." She nodded. "I don't get to hear that often."

"So." Shivay pats his hand together cheerfully with an aim to change the serious undercurrent that has developed. "Do you want watch a movie or something?"

"Oh! No no." Annika says nodding her head as she gulps down her drink fully."It is already late and I have to be home."

"Come on, Annika. It is just 9. Not too late. Just one movie. I can drop you if you want." When he saw Annika thinking about it he added, "I will even let you pick the movie."

Now, Annika couldn't resist it. Good food. Fine wine. Movie of her choice. Talk about bringing back golden old days.

Shivay sat on the couch with his leg sprawled on the table while Annika sat beside him cross legged hugging a throw pillow.

"I am pretty sure this movie is meant for teenage girls and not for two grown up adults." Shivay said after they were just five minutes into the movie that Annika clicks.

Annika laughed at Shivay's expression.

"That's not true. This is a cute love story. Fun to watch. Reminding us about old times you know." She said. "Also, once in a while, it's good to forget who we are and watch something like this that makes us believe in hopeful things even it is just temporarily. "

Few minutes into the movie, the hero was on his knees under the heroine's window, professing his undying love for her, when Shivay let out an audible sigh.

"What happened?" Annika asked

"Do you miss having someone special in your life? Some romance?" he asked

"I..." Annika leaned back in the couch. "I don't know how to answer it." She said frankly looking at him. "What about you?"

Shivay took a couple of seconds before he answered.

"I don't think I want any more relationships." He said. "The ones I had had played a number on me. I don't think I have any more energy left for relationships."

"Do you mind me if I ask you if you still love your ex wife?"

Shivay held his palms together and fidgeted with his fingers. "I have stopped loving myself after everything happened. I don't think I am capable of loving someone."

Annika understood what he meant. She has been in the place where he is now once. She had detested her to the point where she didn't even have energy to wake up a morning. But, then life gave her Vihaan and he turned her life for good. She couldn't imagine how devastating being lonely and depressed could be for someone.

"Can I ask about Vihaan's father? Is he..."

"He is very much alive. But, we haven't seen him in three years. I am not even sure if Vihaan remembers how his father looks. I don't really talk about him to Vihaan, because I don't want him to have any kind of hope from a father."

"Did you love your ex when Vihaan was conceived?"

Annika laughed at the irony of the question.

"I did." She tugged the end of her hair. "I think so." She had a distant look when she said that as if she was reminiscing the past. "I must have. I took many tough decisions for him including leaving my own parents."

The silence that stretched between them was filled with fragments of past that lead to the point where they were at present.

"I think I should leave." Annika said picking up her bag and standing up.

"Let me drop you." Shivay offered

"No, that's okay. I will catch a cab."

"Annika, you stayed late for my sake. I can't let you go alone."

"I am fine. Please, don't bother."

For a minute, Shivay wondered if she was apprehensive because of the gossip ladies in her neighbourhood. If that is the case, he wouldn't want Annika to become a gossip victim. Nevertheless, he couldn't help but be worried about Annika not just for her safety but also because how sensitive the topic they discussed was. He didn't want Annika to go out of the house with any bad memories.

"I am sorry if it..."

"This is the best night I have had in like forever. Thank you so much. I enjoyed every bit of it."

Her smile reflected her actual realness and he smiled back at her telling how much even he enjoyed her company.

"Maybe we can do it again some other time, preferably with Vihaan."

"Oh! then you must be ready to watch Toy Story marathon."

"Wouldn't mind that. I am sure it will be better than two teenagers dancing in the rain. "

That night they both slept with memories of their interaction overshadowing the memories of their past.

***