They left the university campus in the first sunlight the next day. Kit and Beam joined Phana in his car. Ming and his gang follow them in the bus the engineering hazers prepared.

If there were the exception, then we all knew which transport Ming would choose. Throughout the journey to the beach, Ming was thinking of multiple methods to tame the fierce kitten.

~

"This fucker!!!!!," cursed Kit as he changed his Facebook status again. Ming has tagged Kit as 'in a relationship with Mingkawan' for ample time.

Kit was so frustrated that he was ready to throw his phone out through the car window.

"Oi meng, you can't just throw your phone away like that. It's an iPhone wae," Beam stopped him.

"That's right, Kit. Think about the tutoring you have to handle to purchase this," added Phana from the driver's seat.

"I don't know what to do with him. He is so persistent," complained Kit, annoyed.

"Ai Kit, P'San is....," started Phana hesitantly.

"Pha, how do you know that name?" questioned Kit, alarmed.

"Nong Yo told me. P'San was Ming's elder sister. She passed away last year. She was like a mother figure for Ming," explained Phana carefully.

"That doesn't change the fact that he used me as a replacement," said Kit as he looks out the window.

"Ai Kitty, don't you want to give the nong another chance?" inquired Beam dubiously as well.

"I-I don't want to hope for anything anymore," answered Kit.

"From the conversation I had with him yesterday, Nong Ming seems serious this time," stated Phana.

"I don't want to waste my time with false hopes or a lame crush, Pha. I should avoid Ming now than getting myself hurt again," Kit answered.

"I feel like you should give him another chance, meng," stated Beam.

"Today is the gear-giving ceremony. You guys could see it by yourself. Today Ming will get many proposals and, he will forget about courting me in minutes," replied Kit even before Phana could say anything to support Beam's point.

"Anyway, how did aunty allow you to join us during the weekend?" asked Beam to change the tense atmosphere in the car.

"I asked her and, she allowed," replied Kit shortly.

"Just like that? How come?" asked Phana doubtfully.

"Maybe I sounded desperate and, she pitied me," answered Kit as he continued to look outside the car window again.

The best friends couldn't make him change his mind despite trying to give multiple scenarios.

Kit stands firm in his point of view and, they couldn't make him agree to give Ming another chance.

Soon they reach the hotel they're going to stay for the night.

~

Upon reaching the hotel, Beam runoff to find his hubby. While Phana and Kit check in to their shared room. Forth has already made arrangements to spend the room with Beam.

Ming tried begging the former faculty moon and the campus moon to let him share the room with his precious P'Kit Kat, but nothing happened as he wished.

The hazers ordered the freshmen to fresh-up and met them by the shores in half an hour. They have to follow the ritual and do the blood bath together. All the freshmen will run into the sea together and swim together in the ocean to increase their bond. They hope that the broad ocean will bring them together even if they are miles apart.

"P'Kit Kat, please swim with me phi," there it goes again.

Ming has been bugging Kit since they reached here. Kit, as usual, gave him a straight face and walked away.

"P'Kit Kat, don't leave me," Ming was about to follow Kit out of the resting area.

"Oi meng, help us here," called June. Currently, they are playing volleyball by the beach.

They need another hand to complete the group. Ming joined his friend without any other opinion due to Forth's glaring eyes.

Kit walked a bit far from the rest to roam around.

There is a lot of question and exclamation marks in Kit's mind at the moment. Everything seems so stressful and grey.

So what if Ming used him as a replacement? He might use him as an escape from reality too. Eventually, he will have to hurt the younger more than he could get hurt.

Even if he loves Ming so much to the point that he wants to fight for him, will Ming do the same with him?

What if Ming leaves him after he spends few months with him?

What if he has to break Ming's heart due to his parents? He is sure that his parents won't agree to a same-sex relationship.

Is it better to hurt the younger now with his indifferent behavior than injuring him later with the truth?

What should he do?

Should he leave the thing as it is?

Or

Should he give Ming and himself another change?

He walked by the seashores slowly and hoped the waves to wash away his worries.

He could see how happy Ming is enjoying his time with his friends. He loved how Ming's eyes will form into a straight line whenever he smiled at him.

The way his lips were when he laughed happily.

The way Ming will annoy him for petty things like wanting to taste his meal.

The way he will wink at him whenever their eyes met.

Kit loved it all and, he wants to keep and cherish them.

But he is afraid to take that one step towards the younger risking, everything.

He doubts his own decision and wonders if he will regret this decision later, in the future.

"P'Kit Kat," called Ming as he ran towards Kit and joined him by the shores.

Kit continued to walk like he didn't hear Ming or like he doesn't exist.

"P'Kit Kat, will you join us during the gear-giving ceremony?" he asked expectedly.

"Nong, why don't you have fun with your friends? The girls are probably waiting for you," stated Kit as he keeps walking.

"Why would I look at others when I already have you, P? So tell me, P'Kit Kat, will you join us? I'll have something to give you later. Don't you want to know, P?" asked him as he hangs on Kit's arms.

Kit pulled his arms away from Ming harshly as "Leave me alone, Nong," he said in anger and walked away from him.

Stating Ming got hurt will be an understatement. Ming knows what he is doing might seem unreasonable and childish.

But he doesn't want to lose someone he dears just because he was not brave enough to take that one step.

If Kit does not have any feelings for him, Ming swears he would never try this hard to have that fierce kitten.

His P'Kit Kat is cautious and hurting. It's all because of what he said that day in anger without thinking much.

Ming promised P'San that he would never make the same mistake again but, he ends up making it.

Before this, he didn't get any chance to change or correct his mistakes. Now, it's different. He could solve this misunderstanding. He could make P'Kit feel secure again and, he could give all of his love to the dimpled guy.

Therefore he is not going to lose this chance. He is not going to give up.

~

Kit returned to his room and decided to get out only if there is an emergency.

He planned to stay in the hotel room at all costs that night, Unless the hotel burns into ashes, of course.

But his plans got wasted when Phana and Beam dragged him out for the gear-giving ceremony.

Forth will lead the event as the head hazer and, they will have a barbecue party with the campfire.

Beam and Phana made a sandwich with Kit by sitting so close to him on either side.

Even though people laughed at them, they still did that to keep Kit seated and enjoy the barbecue party.

So what if people laugh and look at them like they were someone weird? They are called the Crazy Doc gang for a reason.

Soon the ceremony started and, the hazers asked the freshmen to assemble.

"FRESHMEN!!!!!

The three-month Sotus activity ends here and, I officially welcome you to be our Nongs.

Welcome to the Engineering faculty!!!!!!" said Forth happily.

All the freshmen were more than a delight to be welcomed by their head hazer.

"Attention, nongs!!!

Today, I will give this gear to each of you. It is the sole symbol of our faculty.

It is not just any gear.

Gear is valuable to every engineering student.

'The gear is in your heart. The heart is in your gear.'

If you ask someone to take care of your gear, it means you're asking that person to take care of your heart.

Therefore, take care of your gear and take care of this faculty," Forth completed his speech.

"Where is your gear P'Forth? Did you lost it?" asked one of the freshmen.

"Mine is in the safest place ever," replied Forth with a proud smug smirk.

"Owhhhh... where phi?" asked the rest.

"With me, Krap," answered Beam as he stood up and showed off Forth's gear in his wrist while smiling.

He looked so handsome under the moonlight with his dazzling smile.

Some of the freshmen were impressed with Beam's visuals. They had hearts in their eyes.

"Quit staring at my boyfriend like that, unless you want me to poke your eyes out!" Forth warned the new set of nongs he gained today.

The scared freshmen quickly averted their gaze from Beam.

Even though Forth was proud of his boyfriend, he couldn't stop getting jealous.

Beam looked sexy by being sassy with his answers which, were very dangerous for his poor heart. They both exchanged dearly glance and lovely smiles.

Soon Forth got off the stage and joined Beam and his gang by the barbecue.

All of them were having fun with their teammates or department students.

Kit tried his best to avoid Ming during dinner time.

He does not want to face Ming now.

More like, he does not want to see any confession Ming might get tonight.

So, he decides to take a walk. The hotel management has decorated the barbecue and park area beautifully.

They have hung several polaroid photos given by the hazer team at the branches of the main tree.

Kit looks through the pictures one by one. It was the photos of their Sotus activity.

There were photos from the first-day speech, their evening sotus training, flag ceremony, and some pictures from today's event too.

As Kit saw them all, he spotted some pictures of Ming and his gang in them. Ming was all smiley in those pictures.

"Do you find me handsome, khrap?" asked a voice from behind him.

"You again?!" asked Kit, annoyed.

'Why does this human have to show up everywhere he goes?'

"P'Kit Kat, I understand that you don't trust my words anymore. After what you heard that day, I'm sure that you hate me.

But listen to me, P. I never mean it that way. I was afraid that you might find it uncomfortable. That is why I decided for us and said it like that," explained Ming carefully.

Kit could only sigh at him.

"It's not because I don't love you or because you're not good enough, P. Please trust me," added Ming desperately.

"I was born out of my parent's mistake, Nong. They never wanted me in the first place and, they never loved me. So, I dare not to love anyone until I met you.

Everything that I achieved so far was for them to brag about to others. They never actually praised me for my achievement before.

I was a showcase product for them. I was belittled, compared, and used by my family.

I genuinely thought that you would be different. But you as well used me as a replacement for your dead sister.

When I knew that, I was broken and impressed of my worth in your eyes," said Kit slowly with a sad smile.

"P'Kit...," called Ming sadly.

"No. Let me finish, Nong. I don't want to be used by others anymore. The feelings you are having are not the same as the feelings I'm having for you," explained Kit with teary eyes.

"P'San was my elder sister and, she was my everything in my life. When she passed away, a part of my dream shattered.

I don't know what to do. I was stuck in a predicament until you gave me shoulders to lean. Only then has my new dream began.

From that moment on, you're my dream. P'Kit Kat, you're my hope to continue living, my soul of everything and, even my love. I know the difference between my love for you and my late sister," stated Ming as he took Kit's hands to tie the gear bracelet on his wrist.

"I love you, P'Kit Kat and, I'm not using you as a replacement," conclude Ming as he pulled Kit into a kiss.

Kit was startled by the sudden kiss. He pushed Ming away harshly, and he was about to slap him hard.

Yet, he stopped midway as he looks at him in disbelief and had tears streaming down his cheeks.

He felt used again because of Ming's action. It was as if his feelings and his mental state don't matter as well.

Why don't they gave him some time to calm down and absorb the details they threw at him?

Why don't they think about him before they do what they do?

Why don't they think like him and care for him as he does?

Frankly, Kit wanted to believe everything Ming told him but, this is too much for him to handle.

"P'Kit Kat," called Ming sadly once again.

His voice was hoarse as he was holding back his tears too. Ming tried his best to explain everything to his P'Kit Kat.

Ming wished that P'Kit will accept and believe him again. As usual, nothing goes as he wishes.

"Don't follow me!" warned Kit as he runoff from that spot.

All Ming could do was shed silent tears as he watched the dimpled guy run away from him.

_________

End of Chap 19.

TBC.

_________