Sitting cross-legged on the floor with her back against the wall under the window, Pansy wondered at the strange feelings coursing through her body. She felt restless and her body ached with a peculiar longing she didn't understand. Each day, as she made the walk around the ship, Mauro had accompanied her. At times, he caught her by the elbow to steady her or pulling her down as they made the trip around the mast on the forecastle. She had learned enough to look for the swinging yardarms when she heard the shouts of tack from the sailor's in response to the flapping sails as they turned.

They'd been underway for over a month now, and only been through one squall, which had confined them to their muggy airless cabin for two days while the ship rocked its way through violent seas. The creaking and groaning under their feet had frightened all of them to the point of tears. Mauro had come in to tell them there was nothing to worry about, the ship had weathered far worse storms, and it would be all right. They were to tie themselves into the bunks, though. He showed them the straps attached to the back wall, long strips of leather with buckles which could be snugged down to hold them against the cabin's wall.

Most of them had their sea legs, except Livy, who's seasickness stubbornly refused to leave her be. Once a stout woman, she continually lost weight, as nothing she ate would stay down, and nausea struck in anything but the calmest seas. Livy used to be a cook for one of the Lords who came to London to sit in Parliament. His jealous wife had discovered him dallying with Livy one evening, as he had done since he'd been a randy youngster in the first flush of his manhood. A constable arrested her for theft two days later, saying the lady of the house had sworn a complaint against Livy.

"Why would I deny him? It means nothing. He was only relieving his needs. His wife was in the last month before confinement. A man, especially a Lord as close to the queen as he is, is not to be denied. I've been giving in to his needs for over twenty years." Livy said as if this was nothing to worry over. It was merely a fact of her life in the big mansion across from Hyde Park. "But look at me now, hardly the comfortable plump body he was used too! I haven't been this thin since I was your age, Pansy."

"What's worrying you anyway?" Elanor asked as she dropped to sit on the floor beside Pansy. Her friend had been pensive and withdrawn, not her usual self at all.

"Mauro." Pansy half spat his name out. "He has become a friend, the first I can say I've truly had, other than you all." She waved her hand to encompass them. "And he's a man. He's over twice my age. He's been to India. I think he might be rich. His uniform fits him so well and I know good tailoring when I see it. He's so strong and he makes me feel things." Pansy blushed. It seemed to be a constant problem lately.

"Then why the long face?" Anne was curious too. "A man can be an exceptional friend."

"I don't know what to do about him. He calls me beauty. He treats me more like he's courting me than like a friend. Although he insists, when I grumble, he is my friend. When he touches me, it's like he's petting a dog or perhaps a cat. I feel the strangest of tingles, and I blush like an embarrassed maid. I swear there was once when he pulled me out of the way of the yardarm, he wanted to kiss me. What if he does? Do I let him? I think I want him to, but where will it lead?" The words rushed out and Pansy turned red again. She couldn't get herself to look her any of friends in the eye.

"Has no one explained to you the way of things between a man and a woman?" Anne asked.

"I was only told not to let one close to me, especially the neighbor's son, as they would take liberties," Pansy mumbled.

"Child come up here," Livy said. "I'll explain what happens between a man and a woman when both are driven by needs, they can no longer fight." She patted the top bunk where she'd stay most of the time. She kept a chamber pot near her pillow, never knowing when nausea would strike and cause her to vomit yet again.

"Tell her how wonderful it can be, when you love each other," Mary said. "I miss my James more than I can say." They all knew the story of how she'd lost her husband to the sea, not even a month after they had married. Unable to pay the rent on their cottage, the company had her thrown into debtor's prison, where she'd survived a year.

Pansy climbed up to scrunch into the bunk with Livy. Narrow as it was, they lay with their heads at opposite ends and Livy began educating Pansy about how things happened between men and women. Pansy blushed pure scarlet when Livy asked her to reach between her legs and touch that most secret spot of a woman's body. The lesson continued from there, explaining how the nub which tingled and throbbed so often when she was around Mauro would give her the greatest pleasure a woman could experience. An unselfish lover would take his time to arouse her and make everything else that happened easier.

"You know the first time will hurt? You are a virgin, aren't you?" Livy asked bluntly.

"How could something as big as you describe fit in that tiny spot?" Pansy pulled her hand from beneath her skirts. She'd never explored herself there, having been slapped every time her mother had seen her try when she was young. "Yes, I've kept my virtue intact." She added as an afterthought.

"With ease, except the first time, once you're opened." Livy thought back over her years of lovers. She was barren after a misadventure early in her life, forced her to seek the back ally witch doctor who rid many youthful women of an unwanted consequence of their rash actions. Especially when the inexperienced man was the oldest son of a Lord who would brook no indiscretions. She'd only been a scullery maid, but she'd been bribed with the promise of the head cook's job if she would only rid herself of the babe growing in her womb. Otherwise it would be jail for her.

Livy was ever practical, and most who used those services had many children. She didn't hesitate, but looking back, it was hard to forgive herself when she let herself dwell on the raging infection which had almost taken her life. Shaking her head, she explained the positions used, and how much she'd enjoyed the act.

.

"Talk to Mary about how it feels when there is love involved. The act is wonderful with a partner who cares enough to make sure you are prepared and feeling everything, they are, but when feelings of love are part of it, I hear it is much more yet. The boys used me in the mansion. A safe place for them to learn and expend their sexual energy without terrible results. I never got pregnant again, after the first time." Livy's voice was tinged with regret.