Claire Smith (Rachel's 14-year-old sister) (1 week later)

I'm looking at all the notebooks Rachel had. She did love to write a lot. I wonder when she finally realized it. When she finally realized that she wants to die. That this life isn't worth living. That she wants a change.

I guess that part will always be a mystery.

I hear the doorbell ring. Mom and Dad are really sad. But, now they have to arrange a funeral.

I walk upstairs to the main floor and open the door. It's Ava. Her brown eyes sparkling just a bit, bringing out some of the gold flecks in them. Her chocolate brown hair is pulled into a (very very) messy bun. She's not wearing any makeup, and her eyes are red.

She hugs me. It's hard enough for me to have to deal with the loss of a sibling, but Rachel and Ava hung out way more than Rachel and me.

"Claire," She says. "I'm so sorry for what happened to Rachel."

I'm trying so hard not to cry. I hate crying in front of people, it makes me look small and weak.

"I wish I knew why she did it," I say in a really shaky voice.

"That's why I'm here." She says.

We both walk downstairs into the basement where mine, Rachel's, and my brother Landon's rooms are.

We walk into Rachel's room. The walls are beige with little hints of turquoise blue every few feet. She has inspirational posters on the walls; pictures of Taylor Lautner on her walls; Fall Out Boy posters and pictures on the walls; and shelves full of used notebooks. I would've thought that she would've already bought some more notebooks. I guess she was planning her death.

"Um. So. What exactly are we looking for?" I ask.

"I don't know. Anything that will tell us why she got knocked over the edge. Anything." Ava says.

"Oh..." I think I understand.

The doorbell rings again.

"I told Colby to help us," Ava says when I start heading upstairs.

I walk upstairs and see Rachel's boyfriend Colby standing there.

He looks terrible.

"Hey," I say. I guess he's not taking her death too well.

He sniffles a bit then hugs me.

"We're in Rachel's room." I say as I walk downstairs.

Ava hasn't picked out any notebooks to go through yet.

"Where should we start?" Ava asks.

"I think that since she has so many we should just take a few to read each."

Ava and Colby nod.

I take a few off her shelf, and hand them to Ava. I take a few more off and hand them to Colby. I take a few more for myself.

This is going to be harder than I thought.