——————
2026 GRID
——————-

Fernando:
reminder for everyone: hydrate properly this weekend
also bring sunscreen to the paddock

Lance:
too late
i'm already burnt

Pierre:
????
we haven't even started the weekend????

Esteban:
track temps are higher than forecast lol
i'll throw my enemies on track and they'll die in an hour

Alex:
you have THAT much enemies?

Esteban:
you are one of them

Lando:
what SPF is acceptable before it becomes embarrassing?

Oscar:
everyone knows Australia has the best sunscreen
and you stole mine

Carlos:
*sent a photo*
talk to each other in person when you guys are sharing the same bed?

George:
didn't ask to see that, thanks mate

Lewis:
SPF 50 minimum everyone
reapply every 4 hours or so

Ollie:
wow, this starts to sound like one of our team debriefings

Sergio:
bet half of you will show up empty handed tomorrow then run around to find something to save yourself

Alex:
nope, not me
if someone does, hide your sunscreen

Valtteri:
Good luck boys, cleaning race this weekend

Fernando:
i'll beat some of you easily

——————————————————————
F1 most handsome drivers (in the history)
——————————————————————

Daniel:
HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN GOING ON
@LANDO SPILL THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH ONLY

Lando:
hellooooooooo to you too?

Daniel:
DO NOT DEFLECT
ANSWER MY QUESTION

Carlos:
bet it must be at least 6 months before we found out

Alex:
6 months?
that's an insult
how about a year?

Lando:
Calm down oh God

Charles:
i would also like a timeline
@George make a PowerPoint based on their dating timeline

Oscar:
why does it matter?

Daniel:
YOU STILL HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ASK THAT
WE HAVE BEEN LIED TO
I HAVE BEEN LIED TO BY OSCAR AND LANDO

Lewis:
i suspected something

Lando:
of course you did
even Andrea said the same thing lol
but what gave me away?

Lewis:
you stopped flirting with literally everyone else

Alex:
wait I've never noticed that

Lando:
i was busy

Daniel:
WITH WHAT?
YOUR BOYFRIEND?

Carlos:
remember when they found out Osc and Lan wore the same hoodie 2 months ago?

Lando:
they're not the same
just similar
bought from the same store

George:
same fade
same sleeves
same stain
who are u trying to fool????

Charles:
if u don't want people to find out
at least wear team kit
who is gonna believe you
when you both wore the same limited edition Saint Lauren shirt?

Oscar:
......
our fault

Lewis:
all I know is Oscar is laughing so hard at this

Oscar:
nope
tolerating this
because of the word "handsome" in the group chat name
so I won't even be able to leave

Alex:
100% Lando fell for your beautiful face

Lando:
wrong
his personality is even more beautiful

Daniel:
WAIT
WAIT
WHAT DID YOU GUYS SENSED BEFORE THEY ANNOUNCED?

Charles:
Lando stopped asking me what to wear

Lando:
i grew as a person, okay?

Oscar:
still asks me what to wear every night before going to bed

George:
forgot you guys sleep together
ew that image starts to get more vivid in my head
oh noooooooooooo
@Alex help

—————————————————
2019 rookies (and still alive in 2026)
—————————————————-

Alex:
okay serious problem
what are we eating tonight?

George:
as long as u don't force me to eat Thai food again

Lando:
why do you always ask like u won't fight us later for our choice of food?

Alex:
because I can and I will?
burgers?

George:
don't wanna gain weight

Lando:
Oscar says there's a new place with good burger right next to our hotel

Alex:
WHY is Oscar deciding?

Lando:
since his taste is better than yours

George:
ok we all know you are madly in love with him

Alex:
@Lando, give me one independent thought right now

Lando:
you looked hideous in the green shirt yesterday

Alex:
EXCUSE ME?

Lando:
you asked for my thought duh
Oscar would never be that mean
but I am

George:
i want something soupy

Alex:
what does Lando's consultant say now?

Lando:
he says pasta is the safest option for us British

Geoge:
true
Lando ate plain boiled chicken breast
and actually loved it
what a crazy dude

Alex:
so pasta?
Lando has changed
he used to argue with us for 40 mins about food
now he made up his mind faster than taking turn 10 in Monaco
i'm crying

George:
next thing we know
Oscar becomes Lando's stylish

Lando:
he doesn't pick my daily outfit duh
he approves it

George:
does he approve your choice of underwear today?

Lando:
i'm gonna let you starve at dinner

Alex:
going crazy in 30 mins if I don't get to eat
if the pasta is bad I'm blaming Oscar

George:
he's ruining our dynamic ouch

————————-
Kids of the grid
————————-

Lando:
what is this?
since when am I a kid?
i have SEVEN years of experience?

Kimi:
experience is irrelevant

Ollie:
yeah it's all about energy
your energy is the same level as 7 years old kid

Lando:
i do pay taxes?

Gabriel:
you moved to Monaco to avoid paying taxes because you can't do math

Kimi:
we need your help on something

Lando:
ok go on
and why the hell is @Fernando here?

Fernando:
Kimi insisted I am a rookie
so he added me
i'm their supervisor apparently

Ollie:
enough
back to business
couple name vote is currently tied
whoever lose owe us a round of beer

Lando:
what the hell are you guys talking about?

Arvid:
Landoscar or Oscardo?

Lando:
who even came up with Oscardo?

Isack:
me

Gabriel:
me too

Kimi:
Landoscar sounds logical right?
besides, Lando is the princess so his name must be put first

Ollie:
we also discussed who confessed first

Isack:
it was definitely you.

Lando:
IT WAS NOT DEFINITELY ME

Kimi:
wow he could really kill us with those capital letters
so big so bright
if I fainted then it's all Lando's responsible

Lando:
Kimi I swear I won't ever let you step in my room again

Ollie:
what?
you didn't tell me you knew about their relationship
Kimi that's cheating

Kimi:
that's why I deserve some rounds of beer

Fernando:
are you even old enough to drink?

————————
PR nightmares
————————

Alex:
*sent a link*
Lando Norris comments on Max Verstappen - "He should retire"

Carlos:
love how that headline makes people see red

Max:
he only wants me to retire so his next season will be calmer

Charles:
that's retarded
but also means I'll get closer to the championship

Daniel:
as if
leave Ferrari

Lewis:
he won't ever leave me behind

Liam:
why does every sentence involving Max turn into a "clash"?

Kimi:
Max breathes + Lando blinks = they are rival
easy to understand

Ollie:
reasonable

Alex:
*sent a link*
Lando Norris personally escorts Max Verstappen out of Formula One

Lando:
I said if he doesn't enjoy it, he doesn't have to do it

Oscar:
Lando doesn't say anything stupid this time

Carlos:
did anyone notice how the article ignores the part where both Lando and Max said they're excited for 2026?

George:
boooooooo
that's boring
*sent a link*
Strategy underneath Lando's smile when asked about Max Verstappen

Lando:
wow
i made headlines by smiling

Alex:
be happy about it

Valtteri:
*sent a link*
George Russell backed Lando Norris up on Max Verstappen's situation
so happy to be back on time for drama

Daniel:
congrats on your first 2026 war

Max:
Who's taking interview with me tomorrow?
@Lando wanna create some more headlines before the season ends?
@Oscar wait you should do interview with me

Lando:
@George your lover wants you
want me to organize an interview for you two tomorrow?

——————————-
Android users suck
——————————-

Alex:
stop adding me into new group chat I beg all of you
i can't sleep at night with all the notifications

Oscar:
let me teach you how to turn it off?

Alex:
but I don't want to miss any new gossips

George:
@Alex send over the photos from dinner

Lando:
i miss my phone

Oscar:
i warned you but you didn't trust me

Lando:
YOU DID NOT

Oscar:
i said it would be annoying as hell and you said nah we would be fine

Lando:
that is not a warning

Liam:
so fucking lucky we didn't have contract with Google
i'm gonna go and devour all the cold Red Bull in the fridge now

Isack:
bring me one

George:
why are the photos compressed?
Charles looks like a Minecraft character

Lando:
why does it ask me if I want to share location again and again when I said no already?

Carlos:
why can't we just airdrop?

Alex:
Landoscar sold their souls to Google
and some others prefer Android
which is completely okay

Lando:
I AM BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY SPONSORS
would you rescue me if I got caught using Apple @Alex?

Alex:
sorry, who is this?

Lando:
urgh I miss my phone knowing me

Oscar:
rude
i know you
still need more than that?

Lando:
yeah I do
i'm switching back tomorrow

Lewis:
me and Charles have to use HP laptops
like all the time
at least it isn't that bad

—————
Censored
—————

George:
did anyone do anything?
*sent a screenshot*

Alex:
the correct question must be did YOU do anything
why does PR team want to meet you to talk about interaction between drivers?

George:
@Lando is it because we talked shit about Max the other day?

Lando:
mine asked if I was available for clarification
what does it even mean?

Carlos:
i didn't say a word
and they still call me to ask what tone I was using online
didn't even go online lately

Alex:
which means I'm safe because no one calls me
fuck
incoming call

Oscar:
I WILL NOT BE SILENCE
NEVER
NO ONE CAN SHUT ME UP

Carlos:
just lightly edited out of sight
has anyone actually created any drama?

Oscar:
if I disappear, check the android chat
DON'T LET ME DIE

George:
who took Lando's phone?
too late to erase evidence already