A/n : Who is Harry Styles according to you???
          Who is Harry Styles to you?

Chapter : 36

Dear Diary,

Sometimes it feels as if, my life is a vicious cycle of failures and sorrows. I intend to do good but it backfires me and I mentally label myself as a culprit. I want to leave everything right now and run away to a strange land of the unknown. I'm almost devoid of every emotion a human soul is capable of except misery which has become my constant companion.

I want to feel happy. I want to know what it feels to have a happily ever after with or without someone or anyone. I want to find contentment in the things I do and the words I speak. I want to have strolls in beautiful parks with lush green grass whose blades shine with fresh and tender few drops.

I want to read books and comics and see the world. I want to heal people.....Save people..... Love people.

An I know if I try I'll be able to do it. I will be able to move past him, us and our everything. Fate joined us and it now demands to part us. So be it. Life isn't always the way you plan it. I know I'll never be able to love anyone the way I love him but I have to live.

And so I'll be live without him....

I'll revive without him....

And I'll survive without him....

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2 WEEKS LATER

Jane's POV

"Come on now.... Tell me," I groaned in frustration as Sarah kept smiling like an idiot. 

"We got the freehold of the house," she said.

"Aah" I screamed and jumped and hugged her. "Congrats gal. I can't believe you two are finally moving in together," I chirped.

"Me too J. It's a big step. I never thought I could make it this far with any guy. But Louis is Louis," she admitted.

"Someone is blushing!!!" I teased her.

"Shut up. By the way, you have help me with the house warming arrangements, since Louis will come back from his business tour just in time for the party," she said getting up from her chair and heading towards the exit of the residents' lounge.

"Yes ma'am," I saluted her. Will he be there?

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We headed out of the hospital. It was seven evening. I'm thankful that I had overworked few days and now my eighty hours per week are almost finished.

As we reached Sarah's apartment, she suggested that we order a pizza and  then start packing the clothes to which I agreed and executed the plan.

I changed into one of her shorts and t-shirts because I was wearing my favorite white trousers on which I couldn't afford to spill the ketchup. Yes I eat ketchup with pizza. And yes I'm a clumsy eater. Any problem? Today, after so many days, my mind was off Harry. Usually, I spend an hour gawking at the screen of my phone after I reach home in an anticipation that somehow he'd call me and we'll figure it out.

Sometimes, I almost dial his number. But today was thankfully different and I didn't feel miserable. I was downright excited and happy for my best friend.

She seemed exhausted but her excitement had overshadowed her tiredness. "Takes these trousers," she said handing me a pile of clothes while she emptied her drawers.

"You want to take all that?" I said gawking at the huge walk in closet and the way it was still overly-stacked. "Oh yes, I can't live without these." She said from somewhere in the clothes. By the time we were done with one side of the closet, I heard the door bell. "I'll take it," I said as she thanked me for her hands were full of clothes.

A strange feeling rose in the pit of my stomach. This better be the pizza.

"What if it's Harry?" I turned back and asked her. "Well I don't think Louis would call him to help us out especially after you guys' drama."

"But if it is him..." she continued," Then stay cool and casual."

"Cool and casual" I whispered to myself. How the hell am I supposed to stay cool and casual? I opened the door.

Harry's POV

"Alexander, congratulations and we welcome you to Ross Enterprises and you'll be working under Ms. Lisa Bash in Production unit," I smiled and sent the intern away. They are so irritating. My phone rang. It was Louis.

"Hey bro how are ya?" I picked up.

"I'm good. Listen, I'm about to go to a meeting so I don't have much time to explain. I need you to reach at Sarah's at eight and help her out with the packing and stuff. She'll explain everything. K? Bye" and he hung up.

"I'm fine thank you," I spoke hopelessly at the dead line. What did just happen?

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" Where are you going again?" Emily's overly sweet tone was irritating me as she asked the same question about tenth time. "To Sarah's. Louis told me to be there for some packings and stuff," I said taking the keys. "Can I come with you?" 

"You sure you'll be able to do it? You're still recovering," I said wrapping the muffler around my neck as she nodded and ran upstairs to get ready. The past few days have been difficult. Although our rooms are different but I'm still not used to having her around. I know she's trying really hard to remember but she is showing no improvement. She doesn't have an inch of idea of what happened to us and that somehow makes me suspicious.

I have already called officer Turner, the investigation officer of our accident. He says that she is clean and her story is legit but I just.... I can't agree completely. So, I'm keeping a close eye on her activities.

I can't help her but admit that I over reacted which completely destroyed mine and Jane's friendship. I had become so selfish and now I know that I just need her to be around. I would even have her as a stranger, I just want to see her face every day. It just makes my day. I need a friend. I need someone who won't judge me no matter what and watch football games and eat Chinese in the middle of the night out of nowhere.

"Harry? Harry?" I heard Emily. "Yes?" I said surprised. Maybe I was in too deep.  "Let's go," she cheered excitedly. I nodded plainly and we left for Sarah's.

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I knocked the door as Emily set her hair. God! We're here to work not party! "Did I dress up too much?" Yes! Way too much.

"Not at all," I forced the little white lie out.

"Oh, okay," and she goes back to her mirror. She has changed so much. She's definitely not the Emily I fell for. The door clicked open and there she was, standing in front of me. We both were flabbergasted as silence took control. Emily finally interrupted easing the growing awkwardness," Hey! Dr. Wilson. How are you?"

Jane smiled a bit. "I've told you,"  she said opening the door as we entered," You can call me Jane. How are you anyways?" She chuckled as Sarah arrived at the scene.

"Louis called us," I uttered and she nodded. "You're definitely helping us," she said to me giving Jane a look.  I nodded and shrugged off my coat. "Keep the boxes to the right of the hall where the others are," she gave me directions as I did what I was asked to. I still had no idea why I was doing this? Was Sarah moving out or something? Will somebody tell me what going on?

"What am I supposed to do?" Emily almost shouted catching our unanimous attention. "Oh, you can help me with the kitchen items," Jane smiled. She gave it thought and said,"Okay, let's get to it."

I arranged the boxes as Sarah gave me another. "You're moving out?" I asked.

"Louis didn't tell you? We're moving in together," she said.

"Wow, Sar... Congrats," I hugged her.

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Jane's POV

As I was packing the cups and saucers, I heard the doorbell. "I think Pizza's here," I grinned happily going for the door because I was starving. "Let's take a break," Sarah announced sinking to the couch.

I reached out to the door only to find, "You?" I let out shocked and annoyed treble drawing others' attention. "Ah, the mystery girl," he said grinning. "Hey, Casey. what brings you here?" Sarah interrupted. I couldn't help but let out a chuckle which was rude and I regretted it too. But Casey? Like seriously?

"I know, it's a bit feminine," he said shrugging it off. "I came here to wish my neighbor a goodbye," he said melodramatically giving flowers to Sarah. She giggled and let him in.

"This is Emily..." Sarah went on to introduce him," Harry and this," she pointed towards me," is Jane ..whom I assume you already know," she said referring to his mystery girl comment. "Hi, I'm Casey. Nice to meet you Jane," he let out his hand which I shook. I could see Harry from the corner of my eye.

He seemed a bit uncomfortable. "So, what are you guys doing?" Casey asked.

"Waiting for the pizza." Sarah said.

After few minutes, the pizza finally arrived. Thank God! I thought I'll die by the time it came. I handed everybody a beer while we savoured every bit of it. Harry seemed silent. Anyways, he has a grumpy nature. I, however, liked Casey's company as he went on blabbing about how his name and his friend's wife's name is same and how it got awkward once.

I let out another laugh as he imitated us one by one. "And this dude," he pointed towards Harry ," Man, why are you so silent all the time?" We all were silent for a moment but then I laughed it off to ease the tension. "Any one up for ice cream?" to which everybody cheered except you know who.

I hadn't seen Emily in a while now. I mean it's been almost like twenty minutes. Where could she be? As I was opened the bucket I heard whispers and clicking of tongue. I silently followed the sound which led me to the store room. I slightly twisted the knob only to find it locked. I know it's bad to eavesdrop but this stuff seemed serious and I couldn't help it.

"I know, I know damn it!" I could here a female voice which was obviously of Emily. I glued my ear to the door. God! I'm such a bitch. "I am getting there Calum! Believe me." I heard. Who's Calum? "What? You couldn't do that?............ What do you mean you already did? ........... Of course, Harry doesn't know. That prick will pay the price........ And that bitch too," I heard.i was totally shocked. What was this all about? I stepped back in horror and ended up smashing a vase lying on the table beside the store room.

I ran back to the kitchen as I door clicked open. There were beads of sweat on my forehead. I wanted to remind calm but something was definitely up. Something fishy. I went back to taking out the bowls to serve ice cream as Emily joined me. "Pretty windy up here, right?"  She said closely observing my expressions. She can't know about it. Calm Jane calm. I told myself and smiled towards her. "I don't know about that but I sure do feel hot in this kitchen," I smiled uneasily.

I hope she doesn't suspect anything. She nodded and went back. I heaved a sigh of relief. I need to talk to Harry about it. It's time that we put our differences aside and handle this situation carefully. Who is Calum anyways? 

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I waited till everyone was done with their ice creams. I hurriedly took the tray and looked helplessly for a split second towards Harry. I hope he gets my signal.....

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A/n : sooooooooooo.... It took me a long time to update. Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!