Sometimes it was hard, keeping personal biases out of my work as a doctor, as a therapist. I had spent so long dealing with the after effects of the Old Ways that I knew I had to work extra hard in making sure my personal feelings didn't affect how I interacted with Brochan.

He was an Old Way male, perhaps not as bad as some. He didn't view Omegas as worthless or slaves after all. Which was a low bar to reach, pathetically low. But he was sexist and I had clocked that the moment I had met him. He didn't... it wasn't as if he viewed females as beneath him, that he hated them, but he definitely felt as though they weren't something worth notice if he did not directly interact with them.

I had asked the Hunters about how Sublatus worked and they had been able to give me a fairly indepth rundown of how the heirarchy of sex worked. Females belonged to their family 'protectors' as defacto objects. They were to be escorted by family males or 'higher' status females such as older mothers but only ever rarely. Males were not to interact with them, not to talk to them, unless allowed, and weren't allowed to use their names unless given leave to do so. If they didn't abide by the rules, they were seen as low honour males who disrespected females and the males they belonged to.

Brochan, when he wouldn't address me by name or interact with the females of the pack, was, by his own moulding by Sublatus, showing respect to the males of Oblitus by not doing so. He had been so trained by the twisted honour system, he hadn't even realized it was wrong. He simply believed he was being respectful to the other males by honouring their ownership of the females.

It made me irritated to think about but it did help me understand him a bit better. I didn't like it, at all, but I could see him trying to be better. He got along fairly well with Mari, one of the only reasons I had that he wasn't irredeemable. With her Baiter blood, he had no wish to hurt her, I wasn't sure about the protective aspect of it but he was also tightly bound by his own inate brainwashing from Sublatus that he would withhold the feelings because it wasn't 'his place'. A subconscious reaction to it.

I wanted to start him with making friends with Angie as well because he and Mari were getting along well, much to Bennett's growing irritation. I understood it but I also knew that we didn't have much of a choice. I needed to help deprogram Brochan from everything that Sublatus taught him that was regressive and sexist. It was just hard, not letting my biases show.

That wasn't to mean I didnt have empathy for him. I did. An abundance of it. He had watched his mate die during childbirth,  then had to immediately fall into taking care of a newborn. And then everything with Menza. I wasn't stupid. I knew it hit him harder than he was letting on but the male was... I knew he was doing a heavy amount of self-flagellation. I didn't know for what or why because getting him to talk was like getting a mule to walk where it definitely didn't want to go.

I didn't know if it was toxic masculinity or he had wrapped himself up so tightly in a selfcare system there were no gaps to get through to him to crack it open. He was so tightly controlled and wrapped, all emotions, outside of what he showed Maeve, little Isla, and Menza, of course, were just locked away.

It was like he was doing and showing what was expected of him, not what he was feeling. Even Mari said that he had a lot going on internally, like a heavy rock sitting in his chest, taking up too much space, and one in his throat that she felt like he would choke on at times, or swallow against. Which had brought me back to the Council. I had requested to know what the assessment was on the Commands he had placed on him. Mainly because the note from the trial stating that the witch said he had enough Commands to make him choke and what Mari said had brought that to the forefront.

I didn't particularly understand how Baiters worked, they were a throwback from Mene that didn't come up much at all, only rarely through genetic burbles. But I also knew she was rarely wrong with her assessments even if she didn't know why she felt them. So I felt like if I knew the Commands, I could better understand what he was feeling and perhaps crack into that heavy shielding Brochan was coated in.

Except I was left disappointed in the Council because the only Command they had was 'Not to talk to the Hunters'. They hadn't investigated the witch's claim of the heavy multitude of Commands that Brochan had on him. When I pressed, they basically said that unless he had offered them up, they didn't have time to dig deep into it.

Which that, and then the whole situation with Menza and them not killing that damned Alpha, meant I was not too impressed. In fact the last time I had to talk to a Hunter, I ended up being rather nasty. A well loved pack member nearly died a completely preventable death due to the Council's utter incompetence. They were told what the Alpha believed and they still let him live anyway, despite knowing it put Menza in direct and very real danger.

So despite all of my searching I found... well nothing. All I knew was there had been a lot of Commands placed on him, enough that make a nearly white witch comment on it, but that was it. I had to go through Brochan who seemed intent on never discussing anything, ever. I knew I had to. I knew we had to get through to him because none of it was sustainable.

And that was very apparent from today. The new pack member, Simon, laying into Brochan, trying to kill him, and then Menza cracking through all of her conditioning to let out all of that hurt and anger to dump all of it onto a probably deserving head, meant we needed to fix it. Mari was watching Brochan but all he was apparently doing was sitting on those porch stairs, staring at nothing. She had been giving me updates that amounted to, he wasn't doing anything, talking, or even really seeming to see anything.

Which I understood. Brochan didn't seem to care about much, even when the males rejected him and refused to talk to him, he didn't much react. It was like he didn't particularly care what happened to himself. As I believed, internal self-flagellation. But I knew, deep deep inside me, underneath my biases and my judgement, that Brochan cared for Menza more than he cared for anything else outside of his daughters. I could say many things but Brochan deeply cared for Menza and seemed to be wanting to make amends for what had happened.

I doubted he could, you couldn't go back from that, from allowing or ordering that type of brutality. But he was trying, very very hard. So having Menza confront him over it, over his inaction, his lying, probably hurt more than that male, Simon, attacking him ever could. Brochan was probably more than a little lost because I had a sneaking suspicion that Menza was basically like an anchor point for him. He lost his pack, his prior mate, and everything else, and all he had was Menza and he had just lost her too.

So when Mari told me to come and get him because Menza was hurling his suitcase and clothes out of the house, I knew this was probably the best time to try and get Brochan to actually talk to me about his feelings, about what happened because my gut was telling me something was off, that there was more to the story than anyone else, especially me, knew.

It was why I walked across the cold grass, a cardigan wrapped around me, passing the large rec hall as I headed for Menza's. Mum, he's heading for the trees. Mari's voice had a pitch of anxiety to it as it flowed through the mindlink and I understood it. She was afraid he would hurt himself but as I got eyes on him I knew it would be okay.

I've got him, it's okay. I pressed the words back towards her before I lifted a hand. "Brochan, come here please." The words carried over the cool air and Brochan seemed to be moving mechanically, as if he wasn't aware of anything else so I lifted my hand to my mouth and whistled, sharp and overbearingly loud. My wolf gave a grumble, rubbing her ear with her paw but it had the desired effect as Brochan stopped. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up. I don't want any infections putting a pack member down for a day. You guys have far too many jobs to get done for that."

I could see his hesitation but he did turn and give a small nod as he walked towards me. I stood where I was, my arms crossed over my chest as I watched him come closer. "We can get you cleaned up in the rec hall. No use in the others being in your business." That and I felt like he would be more likely to open up without anyone else around.

He didn't say anything and I didn't either as we both walked, side by side, to the large building. He almost lumbered, as if he held a heavy weight on his shoulders that were shoving him to the ground. "He's a tough little fucker." I said it casually, trying to gauge how he would react and he just shrugged. "If he tries against Jace, he might get his neck wrung."

"He won't." It came out in a rather defeated rumble before Brochan rubbed at his face, shaking his head. I pulled open the door and held it open for him, gesturing him inwards.

"You go shower, okay? I'll see about those bite marks on your arm and shoulder." He looked rough but healing. The bite marks were just an excuse at this point, I just needed him interacting with me and perhaps talking. Maybe, just maybe, this was the break I needed to get him to open up about all of it.

My instincts had never been wrong before and I knew there was more to the story than what I had been led to believe. Did I think Brochan was better than some? Sure, but again, the bar was so fucking low. What I knew now was that he had either allowed or ordered Menza to be whipped after telling her it was okay, that he believed her. It was hard to get past but how I personally felt mattered little when it came to what had actually happened and finding out the truth.

There was more to it. I felt like I had pieces but not enough, like a puzzle with no other pieces but edge pieces. Yes they helped but that didn't let me see what the picture on the puzzle was. And I had never really liked puzzles anyway, found them to be a waste of time.

I adjusted a few things on my informal desk before grabbing a note pad and moving over to the small therapy area. I did appreciate the building and the ability it gave me to have a more inclusive therapy space. The gym was nice as well, as well as the laundry area. I knew Menza's quilting frames weren't quite done but there was an open spot for them as well as totes for fabric and patterns. They had even found her a used sewing machine they refurbished for her.

The doors swung open and Collin and Jay came in, clearly dressed for using the gym. They were laughing loudly and I waved my hand, catching their attention. "Not tonight. I need the space, okay?" They both stared at me and Collin rolled his eyes.

"Fine but if you asked me, he deserved it." He huffed slightly and Jay chuckled.

"Deserving or not, I need the space. I'll let you know when I'm done." I kept my voice firm but I also knew the boys would listen. They knew all about client privacy and even though the gym was separated off by a wall, they understood the need for complete privacy.

"Will do, Amber." Jay nodded and nudged Collin. "We can go introduce ourselves to that new male. Might be a good friend."

"I would say so." Collin nodded, clapping Jay on the shoulder as both headed for the door. "Aw fuck, we have patrol tonight so we can't." There was a clear disappointment to his voice and I chuckled lightly as they opened the door, both looking dejected.

"Want me to lock the door on our way out?" Jay glanced back and I nodded. He returned it and the door closed before the click of a lock let me know we wouldn't be bothered.

We needed that.

Because come hell or high water, I was going to crack open Brochan's shell and get the truth out of him.