*Trigger WARNING*

~*~

One...two...three.

I couldn't do it, no matter how much I tried. I sat there, holding the dagger to my chest wanting it all to go away, the sadness, the pain, the emptiness. Nothing was ever going to change, I was a lost soul, there is nothing left for me here. I thought about everything that has happened these past few years, my mom died, my sister doesn't want anything to do with me, my dad was probably hitting it off with one of his "employees," and as for friends, I don't have any.

I took the dagger and put it down in front of me, staring at it. The tears were free falling now, I couldn't hold it in much longer, I let it all out. Olivia was my name and it didn't mean anything, because nobody cares, nobody is ever there when I need them.

I laid back down into my bed looking at the ceiling, my long brown hair was a greasy, tangled, mess. I reached for the pills on my nightstand and swallowed them, I then closed my eyes that night and I didn't wake up. I don't know how and I don't know why. Was it the gift of god? Or perhaps, it was the pills? I didn't think the pills would work but they did. Now as I float here in the space of my room looking at my body, the body that will never wake up again. I saw my dad come home and into my room, he cried.

I never thought it was possible for my dad to cry, he didn't cry when mom died, he didn't even seem affected. But here he lay by my bed trying to get me to wake up, crying silently to himself. I wasn't going to wake up, I knew that, he knew that, but he was still trying. I've regretted my decision ever since. I thought I had nothing, I thought nobody cared, but I was wrong. My dad always cared, he just didn't show it, I was his light when mom died, and now he doesn't have me either. I'm trapped in the house now, I can't leave. I had not went to heaven nor hell, just a poor empty soul that is lost and afraid.