Word Count: 2104

~Aesira

I pace back and forth, wringing my hands together.

I barely slept last night. Thoughts, regrets doubts stream relentless through my mind, yet I can't reach a single right conclusion.

A knock on my bedroom door makes me jump.

"Everin? Is that you?" I ask anxiously.

I'm not sure how I'm going to face him today, but I need to. I'm running out of time for him to mark me.

"No. It's Mason," the voice rumples through the door.

Sighing in relief, I crack the door open. He presses through the gap, eyes immediately falling to my neck, noting the lack of Everin's mark there.

"I'm glad it's you, we need to talk."

"About?"

I start pacing again, unable to help myself. "Am I supposed to also feel sparks when I touch Everin?"

He frowns at me before adjusting his spectacles. Mason has studied this concoction up and down in preparation, not wanting to risk hurting me by getting it wrong. I trust that he will know what is going on.

"No, not as far as I'm aware. Only Everin should feel them," he remarks.

"Okay, because I touch him and I feel them, clear as day." I rub my hands together, still feeling the ghost sparks from memory. I can't shake them, and they're half the reason I could barely sleep last night.

"That doesn't sound right..." He rubs his jaw, thinking. "I remember specific mention in the book that only the person who touched the one who bathed in the concoction should feel the sparks."

I wrap my arms around myself. "What could it mean?"

"Something may have gone wrong with the mixture." He shrugs. "Perhaps you stayed in the bath too long."

It is a lot of possibilities and no true answer. It doesn't quell my concerns.

"It's freaking me out," I admit, ceasing my pacing. I want to curl up in bed and hope I don't have to feel the sparks again, or see the awed look on Everin's face as he looks at who he thinks is his mate.

Mason eyes me carefully. "Is it working, though?"

"Oh yes, he definitely believes," I mutter, sweeping my hand through my hair.

Mason smiles, oblivious to the turmoil roiling in my head. This is good news to him, because it means our plan is working.

It should be good news to me as well...

"Go get your mark, then. It won't be long before it wears off," he reminds me.

I force in a breath, nodding. "I'll have it by tonight."

Mason watches me for a long moment, noticing my agitation.

"Are you ready for the fallout of him realising you aren't actually mates, and you tricked him?" He asks. He's misinterpreting what he's seeing, assuming I'm worried about Everin's reaction after he's marked me.

He doesn't realise that there won't be a reaction from Everin. He will be dead, and I'll be gone long before Mason realises.

"He can't kill me, right?" I shrug, mustering a weak smile.

"He wouldn't. But he'll send you away still."

"I'll handle it," I assure him.

He nods, trusting me completely. I can't imagine what he's going to think of me when he hears about what I did.

"You should go down and see him. He'll be anxious to talk," he says.

"I bet," I sigh. "Thanks for your help, Mason."

"Of course." He smiles.

He leaves me to dress myself for the day. I do so slowly, putting as much time between having to see Everin again.

But I have to face him eventually.

I find him downstairs, or more so, he finds me. I'm walking down the hall when he grabs my arm, pulling me into a room. I barely get a sense for where I am before I'm tugged into him, his mouth claiming mine.

I smile into the kiss—I can't help myself—completely taken by him. I know I shouldn't enjoy his attentions so much, but I can't help it.

Not when it feels this good.

"Good morning," he murmurs against my lips, hands settled on my waist.

"Everin. That is quite the greeting," I say breathlessly.

He slips from my grasp, allowing me to breathe. Yet, the distance doesn't feel good. I want to drown in him, in the fantasy of us being together.

"I'm sorry, I should be giving you more space." He drags both hands through his hair, which is thick and mussed.

The fact that he can barely keep his hands off me makes my heart stutter.

"It's okay...I ah, I'm slowly wrapping my head around it." I lay my palm against my forehead.

"I know there is a lot to discuss, but let us not worry about it, just for today." He brushes a strand of hair off my face, fingertips grazing my skin. "I want a day to enjoy this, you."

It's an effort not to lean into his touch. The sparks feel so real, so good...

"I like that idea." I don't want to bother with all the preamble. I want to focus on the mark. "Are you truly happy about this, Everin, because I would understand—"

He angles his head, looking at me like he can't quite believe me for being so obtuse.

"Aesira, I've spent months hoping for this." He steps closer. My back bumps against the wall. "I suspected for a while, I just needed confirmation."

My throat tightens. I've had the same theory, but we're both wrong. The anger we've felt toward each other for so long has been intoxicating, messing with both our heads. That, coupled with our forced proximity has given us the incorrect impression that our connection is deeper than it is.

That knowledge is all that is keeping me going.

"What would you like to do today?" I ask softly.

His face softens. "I was hoping to have lunch with you, outside. I have something set up."

"That sounds lovely." It sounds really nice. Too nice, but if we're outdoors, away from his guards, I'll be able to make a quicker, more thorough escape.

We leave for our lunch a couple hours later. Everin loads me into a carriage that takes us down to the beach.

It's different to the white sand beach I walked on near Everin's father's house. The sand here is black, the sea dark and churning, white foam licking up toward the dunes.

An ache forms in my stomach as we walk down the beach, side by side.

It's so beautiful here. I hate to leave this behind.

Eventually, in a secluded area on the beach at the bottom of a sweeping dune, Everin has set up a picnic on a large tartan blanket. We sit face each other as he serves me wine in a small cup and food from a basket.

It's mind-meltingly intimate being served by him, being alone with him like this. We were never supposed to get to a point like this, where we could share a quiet moment not filled with tension and hate.

It's easier than I thought, being with him...it feels natural.

"I hope this okay. I wanted to take you out properly, but I figured you might be more comfortable around here," he says, looking off at the sea, the noise of the waves almost drowning out his voice.

"It's perfect," I admit quietly. "Your whole pack is beautiful, Everin."

He goes quiet for a moment. I tear my gaze from the sea, finding him looking at me with a quiet, gentle expression.

"Our pack," he murmurs.

"Oh...right." I forgot that being mates with Everin means being the Luna of his pack.

He picks up my hand, tracing his finger over my palm.

"I've waited my entire life to feel sparks like this, Aesira. I thought about all the things I wanted to do once I found my mate," he whispers.

"What things?"

His eyes meet mine, hard and unflinching. "I want you, my mate, to make our home yours as much as it is mine. I want you to become Luna at your own pace, to love my pack with your entire heart. I want to worship you each day, and I want to make love to you."

I let out a slow breath, feeling nauseous.

He doesn't really mean any of this. It's his desperation for a mate bond that's talking. I'm not right for him, and if he doesn't mark me now, then he will have no qualms about throwing me to the side.

Each word he says right now...it won't be real then.

Still, I do my best to appear flattered. "You do?"

"I want to learn your body slowly, thoroughly." He kisses my knuckles. "Just as I want to learn your mind, which admittedly, still confuses me greatly."

"How so?" My body sings as his mouth grazes over my skin.

"You're impossible to read."

"I don't mean to be. Sometimes, I don't know how to put my thoughts into words," I tell him carefully. "It's probably because my thoughts make no sense to me half the time."

For once, I want to be fully decided on something. I don't want to have doubts, have second thoughts. Letting him mark me or changing my mind. Why can't I decide on one and be done with it?

"You only need to say as much as you are comfortable with," he assures me calmly.

I study his face, my eyes stinging. I need to do this now. If I don't, I'm going to tell him the truth, and I won't be able to come back from that. Never again, will I be free. I need to get this done before I can really think about what I'm doing to him, that I will never see him again.

"Everin," I say shakily.

He shifts closer. "Yes, Aesira?"

"I think I'm ready for you to mark me." The words taste like ash as they spill past my lips.

His eyes drop to my neck, where the salt scented breeze has blown my hair back from.

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, right now." I slide across the blanket, until I'm right next to him. "I can't bear a moment more of talking."

He smells like home, like everything I've become addicted to recently.

It's not real.

"Perhaps it is too soon. I get the feeling you need more time to think." He looks over my face, looking for hesitation, for doubt.

"We are mates, Everin. What more is there to think about?" I smile, slipping a mask over my face with ease. I feel as though I'm dissociating, losing control over my body.

"You are eager." He laughs a little under his breath. "It would be an honour to mark you, Aesira. To make you mine completely, and I will be yours."

I nod hurriedly, baring my neck to him.

He breathes in sharply before leaning closer.

I stay impossibly still, feeling his breath ghost across my skin. I close my eyes, banishing every thought from my mind until it's entirely empty.

Soon I will be free. From Everin, from my father...I will put this mess behind me.

He kisses my neck, right where his mark will go. "Are you sure?"

No, I'm not sure.

"I'm...just do it," I demand quietly, swallowing thickly.

He kisses me again, and I almost flinch. My heart is beating so fast, it's swallowed the sound of the waves.

"Okay my love. It may hurt a little at first," he whispers gently, hand smoothing down my back, letting me know he's here through everything.

I squeeze my eyes tighter shut, panic rearing up in me in one massive burst.

What am I doing? This is going to kill Everin...it's not just going to incapacitate him, he's going to be dead. Gone. And I'm going to be the to kill him.

I might want my freedom, but not if it means he dies. We might have been enemies in the past, but we aren't now, and he's a good person. Far too good to be taken out by my father's plot.

"No, stop!" I shriek, trying to push him off me.

But it's too late. His teeth are already sinking into my neck, pinning me with his mark.

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