~Chapter 15~

"Do I have to go?" I whined to my agent over the phone the next day.

I wasn't having the best day. I woke up feeling anxious again for some reason and the day's events weren't making me feel any better.

I could imagine the agitated look on her face and the hands on her hips. She treated me like a child sometimes but I couldn't blame her for it because, in all fairness, I was acting like one.

It was only because I loathed interviews with a passion. It was invasive question after invasive question and I was sick of it but there was nothing I could do. For the good of my career, I had to make appearances. Unfortunately, I couldn't just go MIA for months on end as it was very easy to lose your spotlight and that was something I couldn't afford to happen if I wanted to carry on living in New York City.

Otherwise, I'd be forced to go and live back home again and there was no way in hell that I could do that. Mother and I living under the same roof never went particularly smoothly. Trust me when I say it's something I'd never want to relive.

After just over an hour and a lot of coercing from my agent — I should honestly give her a larger percentage for what she puts up with — I was sitting next to Caroline Bennet, one of the most popular gossip channel owners around.

She was known for her probing and sometimes uncomfortable questions which is why I had kicked up such a fuss about doing the interview but, unfortunately, she was the lady people watched and listened to; there was no way out of speaking with her no matter how much I wished it.

She had a smirk on her face as she asked me questions, one that made my skin crawl. She was out for all the blood she could bathe in; she wanted absolutely everything on me and was determined to get it. I could feel the uneasiness in my bones as she spoke.

Interviews never usually made me feel like this. This woman, however, made my confident front vanish and it was almost impossible to build it back up after each question. Each of her words a piercing arrow attacking my walls.

Stay calm, Harper. You can do this.

"So, Harper," she said, her voice sharp and demanding. "I know you're good friends with the well-known fashion designer Winter Fallow."

I nodded, worried about where she was taking this. Trying to spin a story about me was one thing but involving my friends was a whole new ballgame.

Her icy eyes pinned me to the spot as she spoke and I internally vowed to never do an interview with her again regardless of the cost on my career. This kind of unease and panic wasn't worth any price. "Does her newfound success bother you in any way? I mean, you mustn't be the centre of attention at the moment."

I felt my eyes flash in anger at the insinuation. How dare she suggest such a thing. However, I played off my bitterness with a soft shrug. "Not in the slightest," I said honestly. "Winter deserves this recognition more than anyone and I'm over the moon for her at the praise she's receiving."

Caroline looked mift at my clearly truthful answer but was quick to hide it, jumping straight onto her next question. "No dents in any of her other relationships? Not even with her boyfriend?"

I had to pretend she hadn't taken me by surprise. I had no idea if what she said was based on knowledge she had or a hopeful shot in the dark; she was a hard woman to read. "Not from what I can tell," I said vaguely. "But these are questions you should ask Winter not me. It's not my place to disclose anything about her personal life. Friends don't do that."

My sharp response startled her, clearly she wasn't used to people calling her out. "Right, well," she began, trying to take control of the situation again. "Moving back to you, what have you been up to since July?"

She was trying to make her question seem innocent and vague but using a specific time period gave herself away. "Some shoots, new projects and Paris Fashion Week to name a few things."

"Anything else. Anything out of your usual schedule," she probed and I shook my head, already aware of where she was trying to lead this. Coming into this interview, I knew it was an inevitable topic. "What about the numerous sightings of you with fellow model Axel Knight?"

Finally, she gave up and said it. She wasn't actually stupid enough to think I'd expose myself, was she?

"There's not much to tell. He's good friends with my brother, Zack, and my close friend, Liam. We were going to cross paths eventually and ended up forming a friendship when we did."

"Yes but from the photos it looks like there's more to it than that," she pressed with pursed lips, grabbing a printed photo from the veneered table behind her. "No one stands this close and looks at someone the way you two are if you're 'just friends'."

I was surprised at the photo she held in her manicured fingers. It was one I had never seen before of Axel and me on our walk back to our hotels after Fashion Week, the night we almost kissed. Doing my best to keep cool and silently praying she didn't have any more unseen photos, I replied evenly. "If you won't believe me, I don't know what more to say. I'm just not at the right place in my life for a relationship. With all the travel and taxing work hours it's just not feasible for me at the moment."

"But if you find the right person the timing doesn't matter. Even if you think you're not ready, if they're the one, they're the one. You can't change that and if it were me I'd pursue it because it'd be worth it."

For such a cold and emotionless woman, those words were surprisingly enlightening. Perhaps I did need to talk to Axel about what happened between us because I knew he felt it too, that unexplainable chemistry.

"I'd never thought about it like that," I said absentmindedly. "Maybe if that person ever does appear I'll give it a go."

After that, I wasn't paying too much attention to Caroline's questions and I could tell it was starting to bother her but my mind was too preoccupied about how I should approach the topic with Axel – if I should.

By the time it was over and I'd left the building, I'd made up my mind.

Surprisingly, Caroline was right. I couldn't let the opportunity slip through my fingers. Inside, I knew my feelings for Axel ran deeper than I cared to admit and for once I wanted to not chicken out and explore the possibility of something more.

Also, Zack's words about 'living in the moment' were ringing loudly in my head. At that moment, I wanted to do just that and listen to Zack. I wanted to think with my heart and make a reckless decision.

Axel and I had that spark, that pull to one another that 'just friends' didn't and if both of us were too afraid to act on it, we could potentially lose something so special.

Despite my mind telling me that I was being rash and impulsive, I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and dialled Axel's number without thinking twice.

Whilst it rang, my clammy hands gripped the device tightly, the nerves building in my stomach. The longer I waited for him to pick up, the more anxious I got. Maybe this was too soon or wasn't the right idea. What if I ruined our friendship? What if he didn't feel the same?

The thoughts flooded my mind until I wasn't so confident anymore but I'd already started calling him. I couldn't back out now.

When the call went to voicemail, I breathed out a sigh of relief but my contentment was short-lived because I realised he didn't answer my call.

Axel always answered my calls without fail.

I pushed my worries aside, telling myself he was just busy. No one could answer every call without fail 100% of the time. I was overthinking this, massively.

But my gut twisted violently, almost as if telling me that something was wrong. That anxious feeling I had this morning hitting me at full force.

I shuddered as I continued my walk home, the clouds above looking gloomy and grey.

I looked down at my phone to check the time when I noticed several missed calls from Nathan, Wyatt and mum. The nerves in my stomach amplified tenfold. Something was wrong.

I was about to call Wyatt back when water droplets pelted on my screen, making my phone momentarily unresponsive to my touch.

Rain, just what I needed.

I pulled my hood up, wrapping my coat tighter around myself as I wiped the wet screen on my sleeve. However, before I could call my brother, my phone buzzed and lit up. Dad was calling me.

Something was more than wrong.

"Hey Dad," I said after my cold fingers finally managed to answer the call. "What's up?"

"Harper, thank god," the familiar voice breathed on the other end. "You... you have to... you have to fly home right now."

My stomach dropped. Dad never stuttered and he knew how much I hated staying at home.

Something absolutely terrible had happened.

Dread filled me as I tried to find the words to speak but my voice seemed to have left me as my throat closed up and my hands shook, nearly making me drop my phone.

"Harper?"

"Sorry," I said, somehow finding my voice at my dad's terrified tone. I'd never heard him speak like that before. "What's happened?"

Dad took in a sharp breath. "It's your brother—" he cut himself off, trying to hold back a sob.

"Zack, he... he's... he's..."

No. No. No. I was paralysed as I waited for his next words, already fearing the worst. I gulped down my fear as dad took in one more sharp breath.

"He's dead."

~*~*~

...please don't hurt me. I love Zack a lot too *holds hands up in surrender*

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