Trigger Warning ⚠️

We got home late last night and Tom said he wanted to come round to see if I'm okay, both mum and dad said that he could come round tomorrow which is technically today so they said he could come round today if that made any sense at all.

I hadn't had a proper night sleep once again and I just didn't know if I could cope anymore, I opened my draw next to my bed and hesitate for a moment before pulling out a sharpener. 'Do it, now!' I hear the voice speak I don't know how I did it but I broke the sharpener and bring the blade to my wrist.

"Now that's a good girl" the voice speaks again and I dig the blade into my wrist and swipe it across, not going too deep though only deep enough for blood to start for run down my wrist. I heard Emilia or Eduardo on the landing and I quickly hid the blade from the sharpener and grabbed a tissue from my bedside table and cleaned up the blood just in time, Eduardo comes into my room.

I put on a fake smile and tell him to come to my bed, he climbs on with the help of me and I wrap my arms around him, "your a good boy aren't you wardo, you didn't go and disturb mummy and daddy" I say softly to my little brother as I plant a kiss onto his forehead and he nod. "Love you Essie" wardo smiled softly making my heart melt, I layed down with Eduardo and he soon falls asleep again so I let him.

It was  pretty early but it wasn't day light yet so I just let him sleep while I lay their awake still unable to sleep, every time I close my eyes I am faced with the same nightmare. I yawned since I was so tired but I just couldn't sleep, I was scared to go to sleep.

I soon closed my eyes but it was 7:40 and Eduardo was asleep on my arm. I wasn't expecting to fall asleep but I do but only to be woken up by my door opening and dad walking in Eduardo stirred and was awake "morning friends" I mumble to the camera and looked at Eduardo and he looked at me then to dad and be camera "hi friends" he smiled in his cute morning voice.

Eduardo gets off my bed and my arm becomes visible so quickly I move my arm so dad cannot see and luckily he didn't "Zoe, Alfie and Tom will be here at 10" dad tells me and I nod just wanting him to leave my room

From Tom🙊😻

We will be round for ten💖 missed you when you were away

To Tom🙊😻

Missed you too. See you soon ❤️

From Tom🙊😻

See you soon my cheeky Friend 😂💗

After reading the text I put it  down and   Lay down again just staring up at the ceiling and just thinking but in the end it didn't seem to be thinking, I just seemed to be listening, not just anything, to some voices and it was actually horrible.

'I'm coming for you'
'Hurt yourself'
'Hurt others'
'Your not important
'Your worthless'

We're just five off the things be voices we're saying and I pulled my blade out again,  I wasn't going to hurt others like they wanted me to, no way! I'll just hurt myself, then maybe the voices would go away I brought the blade to my wrist and drag it across and was cry as the blood runs down my wrist, I repeat again and again before going to wash my arm and get dressed.

I open up my wardrobe and look in the through my jumpers and I also look through the rest off my clothes before I finish choosing my outfits. Once I had chosen my outfit I get out off my pyjamas and then put my underwear on before putting on my light blue denim ripped jeans, I added a black vest top before putting on my light brown jumper, making sure it covered my wrists, I just didn't want anyone to find out what I had done. I added my white trainers to my feet and just brushed my hair and leaving it down since I couldn't be bothered to do anything fun with it, the truth was I couldn't be bothered to do anything but I wasn't going tell anyone was I?

I knew I should go and have something to eat otherwise mum would be worrying and so would dad so I grabbed my phone and headphones and put them in my pocket wrote heading downstairs and was greeted by the dogs. I plastered a fake smile onto my face as I made a fuss off them and then heading into the kitchen.

"Morning Essie" mum smiled as she takes Emilia's porridge over to the  table and then gets Eduardo's porridge and takes up over to to him "morning mum" I respond and grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl and take a small bite from it. "You alright princess?" Mum asks me and I nod slowly, it wasn't technically the truth but it wasn't a lie either. I just didn't know how I felt.

I continued eating my apple and then went into the garden and sat on the grass while putting my headphones in and just being in quite and on my own. It was only 8:30 so Zoe, Alfie and Tom wouldn't be here for another hour and half so I could be in quite and alone for that time.

Anna's POV

Watching Elizabeth worried me, she's not herself and she's never been like this before, Eduardo went I her room last night instead of coming into mine and Jonathan's which never happens before Es usually takes him back to his room and sits with him for awhile so why didn't she last night.

I guess I won't be able to find this out until she decides she wants to tell me. Once Emilia and Eduardo had finished eating they went into the living room and eduardo put on the princess Anna dress with my help and Emilia put on the queen Elsa dress and they began to play together

Elizabeth's pov

I saw mum leave the kitchen and sighed softly, maybe I should talk to her about how I'm feeling but would that help or world it make me worse I just don't know

A/N

Part 1 or 2
I wanted to make this into two parts as I needed to get a update done and I just wanted to do yeah.

Bye

Jess xx