This Is Me Trying by doTheDarkRaysExist

I’m happy to review another book of doTheDarkRaysExist again, I really enjoyed the last story she asked me to review for her.

Cover:
This is honestly such a creative cover I love how it shows a step by step of two people holding hands, the first picture shows both hands being separated from each other. Whereas in the second picture  it shows the hands getting closer and trying to reach other and finally in the third picture, it shows them being connected to each other. In a way, I think this ties perfectly to your story as the plot of the story is that Mona needs to try and get better otherwise she’ll lose Alex and they won’t be together anymore, and that if she does manage to get better than like the steps in the cover she’ld be able to happily be with Alex.

Description:
It’s a very well written blurb, you’ve managed to create a sense of suspense without it being too much and you’ve managed to leave the reader wanting to know more, you’ve done good on revealing little snippets of the plot without exposing it too much. I feel that though there are some places where certain punctuation should be changed for example, in the line “The guilt of breaking up with a woman he loves who’s clearly suffering? Or just … self preservation?” In my opinion I think it would be more effective if written like this “The guilt of breaking up with a woman he loves who’s clearly suffering… or just self preservation?” This is just my thought, but other than that, this is still good.

Storyline:
To sum up the story, it’s about a couple named Alex and Mona who are on the rocks due to a disagreement on Mona getting help for her mental health, one day while they were arguing Alex finally had enough and decided to leave Mona, the next day Mona tries to convince Alex to a stay with her and that she promises that will get better, alas he still leaves. About 3 months, Mona is receiving help and she also meets up with Alex who had moved to England and left Georgia (the country) and it seems that they become friends and Mona self reflects that even though they aren’t together anymore, it is still a happy ending. I like that for the ending you didn’t have Alex and Mona get back together as I think that would be a cliche and the fact that you didn’t, just made it more realistic and it showed that even though some things don’t end up going the way you want them to, there’s more than one way of achieving a happy ending. This was such a good storyline and I bet that if you ever decide to develop on it and expand the plot it would still be just as amazing.

Characters:
Alex is a good guy, he tried his best to help Mona even when she was being biphobic to him because of him being bisexual, I know this may sound selfish but sometimes you just gotta out yourself first before other people. Something that I wondered about was whether Mona was somewhat based off of you hence her full name Raymona. Despite Mona being horrible towards Alex during the time they were together, she still does care about him which is shown when she just wants what’s best for him even if it meant that they wouldn’t be together again. I really like that they are still on good terms despite what’s happened between them, I really like how realistic you made these characters, it made it easier in a way to connect with them.

Grammar/Spelling:
I’ve reread this story a lot and not just to check for any grammar or spelling mistakes, but because it’s such a joy to read. I can safely say that there aren’t any mistakes at all, you’ve literally written a perfect book and that’s just really really outstanding.

Engagement of the reader:
This story got me thinking a lot about stuff that’s happened in my life such as past relationships I’ve had that didn’t end up working out and it made me realise that in a way it was for the best as we are both happier now despite wanting to make it work before. I’m not gonna lie I didn’t even realise how short the story was because I was too into reading it, that’s just how good it is, you really do write amazing stories, I hope that you don’t stop!