Mothwing: Okay, cats, there were originally five Clans –

Mousewhisker: FIVE?! I thought there was only room for four.

Cloudtail: STARCLAN ARE LIARS! Now that’s why I don’t believe in StarClan.

Mothwing: They were called SkyClan. Rumour has it they could actually fly –

Breezepelt: Sorry for being late. I was chased around the whole of WindClan by Crowfeather just for saying Leafpool’s name.

Mothwing: Leafpool is my friend. HOW DARE YOU SAY HER NAME!

Breezepelt: Well, you just said “Leafpool” so. . .

Mothwing: READ THAT IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY! *Points to a poster with a picture of Leafpool that says: “No cat can say Leafpool’s name, teacher or not. She is a disgraceful medicine cat! POSTER MADE BY LIONBLAZE, DO NOT STEAL OR ELSE.”*

Breezepelt: Lionblaze, pfft. I SHALL SAY LEAFPOOL! LEAFPOOL, LEAFPOOL, LEAFPOOL, LEAFPOOL, LEAFPOOL, LEAFPOOL, LEAFPOOL!

Sandgorse and Shrewclaw: *Walk into classroom* Someone said Leafpool’s name.

Mothwing: Who are you two?

Sandgorse: I’m Sandgorse and that useless shrew is Shrewclaw. We’re the cats who punish cats for saying “Leafpool”.

Shrewclaw: Who is the young cat who said “Leafpool”?

Breezepelt: Me. You guys are saying “Leafpool” so shouldn’t you be punished too?

Shrewclaw: Damn, he got us there. . .

Spottedstar and Darkstar: We’re Shrewclaw’s and Sandgorse’s replacements. Who said the name of doom?

Breezepelt: Mothwing, Shrewclaw, Sandgorse and I.

Spottedstar: I HEREBY SENTENCE YOU TO. . . detention.

Darkstar: DUN DUN DUN!

Breezepelt: NOOO, NOT MY WORST ENEMY! CROWFEATHER, SAVE ME! *Crouches beside a crow’s feather* WHY WON’T YOU SPEAK TO ME?

Spottedstar: This is some crazy cat.

Darkstar: Who talks to a crow’s feather? O_o

Breezepelt: CROWFEATHER IS MY FATHER AND IS A WINDCLAN WARRIOR!

Darkstar: No, he’s a crow’s feather.

Breezepelt: Are you saying my father’s a crow’s feather? HIS NAME IS CROWFEATHER, FOR STARCLAN’S SAKE!

Spottedstar: Crowfeather is a crow’s feather.

Breezepelt: No, he’s Crowfeather.

Darkstar: CROW’S FEATHER. CAN YOU UNDERSTAND US?

Breezepelt: Crowfeather, yes. Finally you got it right!

Mothwing: I’m a teacher so I can’t be put in detention. IN YOUR FACES!

Spottedstar: Double detention. I’ll be the class’s teacher.

Darkstar: DUN DUN DUN.

Cloudtail: We have a new teacher? NOOOOO. THEY MIGHT FORCE US TO BELIEVE IN STARCLAN.

Mousewhisker: I believe in StarClan.

Cloudtail: Just me then.

Mothwing: I can’t believe I said Leaf –

Lionblaze: You should have followed my poster.

Mothwing: Anyhow, today we learnt that the name of a medicine cat gets you in detention and that StarClan are liars. Good lesson to you all, class.