What's the line between making someone your muse and simply using them for content? How do you know when you've crossed it? Are there any differences between those two at all?

One of the probably many reasons why my exes loathe me is that I write about them. Or at least I did. I wrote about the old ones and still continue to write about the most recent ones. 

Sometimes, I feel guilty writing about them. Sometimes, I wonder if that's why I even date the wrong people for me in the first place. Is it because I know they're bad for me, but good for my art, that I continue to pursue people like them? If that's the case, then do I even have the right to hurt at all? To feel pain when they're gone? To be disappointed when it doesn't work out? 

These past two years, I've gone out with six people; four of which merely used me for sex. And those four men? I've done nothing but hate them and hate myself for choosing to love them. But now that I think about it, I put myself in those situations, didn't I? I did that to myself.

Nicole