Responsibility [noun] - the state or factor of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone.

author's note: i eat slow burn and yearning for breakfast. genuinely so excited for how the story is going to unfold!

side note: i made the decision a few years back to set all my stories partially or entirely in the UK because what do i know about america post high school lol. where is everyone reading from? i'm a die-hard londoner!

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The drive had been silent for two hours.

I had no idea what to say to him. Was I supposed to ask what his favourite colour was or what he liked to do in his spare time? The silence made me realise that there was tension between us and I knew it was because we hadn't made the best impression on each other.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, and he seemed pensive. I wondered what he was thinking about. I looked away and tried to think of something to break the uncomfortable silence. My stomach grumbling did the job for me.

"Have you eaten?" he asked.

I shook my head. It had slipped my mind and it was like I had been on autopilot the whole morning.

"We're coming up to Edinburgh. We'll stop there to eat. I need to fill up the tank too." He tapped the screen of the satnav and changed the destination.

"Thanks," I mumbled, trying to smile.

The corner of his mouth quirked slightly in response before he looked back at the road. We drove for another twenty minutes until he pulled out of the motorway. He stopped at a petrol station and I stayed in the car as he filled up the tank.

He came back in the car and handed me a Twirl chocolate bar. "The cashier recommended a nice lunch place about twenty minutes from here. The chocolate bar is to hold you over until then if you need it."

I looked at the purple packaging and turned it over in my hand before a genuine smile appeared on my face. "Twirl is my favourite chocolate."

He smiled softly. "Noted."

When we arrived at the place, I noticed it was an American-style diner. We chose a booth by the window. My sense of smell took the lead and autopilot was officially off when I realised just how hungry I was. I made quick work of the menu and chose the all-day breakfast with a strawberry milkshake. It was close to three now but my body was playing catch-up. Kane settled for a burger with a side of fries.

The music playing in the diner was a nice break from the silence between us. I looked out the window. It was late November and just past three so the sun was beginning to set. The days were starting to fly by. I sighed as I caught his gaze.

"You don't have a Scottish accent," I randomly noted.

He smiled, amused. "I don't. I was sent away to a pack in the English countryside as a child. I trained there until it was time to come back home and became alpha a few years later."

It wasn't uncommon for future alphas to train with another pack—it was a rite of passage almost but I had never heard of anyone spending more than a year or two there. I voiced my confusion. "Why?"

Kane sat back. "Leander had taken a part of our territory when I was a child. My parents didn't think it was safe for me to stay. I had more to offer when I came back and reclaimed what was stolen."

His explanation for the war differed from the one we had been told. My pack were allies with Alpha Leander, and after fifteen years of having the territory, I guessed some people believed it was his to keep. Kane's pack was painted as the unnecessary aggressor.

"How did the treaty come about if you won?"

He sighed and I could tell he was reluctant to answer. Until he did. "The treaty protected them...and it's a way to make sure I never enact revenge on Leander because of everything he took from us. He surrendered the territory to ensure it."

The shock coursed through me. It surprised me that Kane had been able to change the tide like he did. To go from a vulnerable pack to one that others had to protect themselves from was unheard of. But then again, his name wasn't a bad omen for no reason. People didn't want to get on his bad side.

I shivered when the memory of him chasing me flashed in my mind. I saw his bad side. I shrank back in my seat at the reminder.

"You don't have to be scared of me, Rina." His voice was low and gentle. My gaze snapped up to his and I noticed the small frown on his face. "I'm sorry for giving you a reason to be. I hope I can show you that I'd never harm you or let anything happen to you."

I winced and tried to maintain eye contact. "I appreciate the apology. I'll try...not to be but I think it'll take time." I wasn't sure how long I needed to undo three years of fear.

He nodded his head solemnly. "I can wait."

The waitress then came with our food and I dug straight in. I was too preoccupied with my food to think of anything more to ask him. When I finished my meal, I sat back with my milkshake glass in my hand. He had finished a few minutes before me and was sitting back, watching me.

"Tell me something about you, Rina," he said, placing his hand on the table.

I sipped on my milkshake before answering. "I'm a photographer. My parents put a toy camera in my hands when I was four and I never looked back."

The corner of his lips lifted slightly. "I'm guessing you see the beauty in everything."

I nodded. "I guess I do."

I didn't miss the glint of hope that appeared in his eyes.

—————

Three hours later, we finally arrived at Kane's pack. It was dark now but the houses were lit up. They lived just past the outskirts of the city, close to the mountains. I was excited to explore what I could tomorrow with my camera.

Kane lifted my suitcases out of the boot and it was bittersweet to think I fit my entire life into two of them. We were outside what I assumed was his house.

"My beta and his mate are coming over if that's okay with you." He led the way to his front door and unlocked it. "I figured it would be better to ease you in instead of meeting everyone at once."

"Does your pack know about me?" I asked, quickly distracted by the interior of his living room. It had a rugged charm to it with exposed stone walls and a large fireplace.

"They do. My beta announced I would be returning with my mate."

My mate. He had no issue with accepting what was between us, what was fated between us.

"How many wolves do you have?"

He lifted my suitcases by their side handles as he headed towards the stairs. "Two hundred and fifty. Our numbers increased again when I reclaimed our territory."

I followed him silently. His case was a fascinating one. Numbers didn't always mean strength and I wondered how he was able to transform his wolves into fighters, successful ones at that. The military prowess that he was known for was for good reason.

He brought me to a bedroom at the end of the corridor. It was decorated simply with whites and greys. "This is the guest bedroom. You can sleep in here until..." he hesitated. "For as long as you'd like."

I gave him a stiff smile. It all felt bizarre. I had never expected my relationship with my mate to feel so...distant.

The mate pull seemed to be working overtime to compensate for it. We stood there staring at each other and I felt the urge to be closer to him. His hand was on the front handle of my suitcase and I looked at it for a moment before I reached for it too.

The side of my hand brushed against his and he took a quiet breath in. I didn't move and neither did he. He looked at me until I broke the silence. "I should probably change into something nicer. First impressions and all." I didn't want to stay in joggers and a jumper.

He scanned my appearance and took a step back. My hand felt cold. "Whatever makes you comfortable. I'll be downstairs, okay?"

I nodded and watched him leave. I sighed as I set my suitcase on the floor and unzipped it. I settled on jeans and a nicer top. In a moment of curiosity, I began looking around the room. It was his guest bedroom but it didn't seem like it had ever had guests. He didn't seem like the hosting type.

I pulled open the drawers and noted they were all empty. Would I unpack? I had no clue if I was ready to admit that this was home now. Another four-letter word that didn't make sense to me.

I decided to keep my clothes in my suitcase when I heard footsteps crunching in the snow outside. The butterflies swarmed my stomach and I walked towards the mirror on the wardrobe door. I gave myself a once-over and slowly made my way downstairs.

Kane was crouching, lighting the fireplace and turned around when he heard me. He stood up and smiled slightly. "You look beautiful," he said, glancing at my outfit.

"Thank you," I replied, returning the smile. "I think they're—"

I was interrupted by a knock on the door. Kane walked over and opened it. His betas were standing outside, each with something in their hands. Flowers and a steaming pot of food.

"Finn. Carmen. Thank you for coming."

Finn and Carmen stepped into the house, greeting him with warm smiles. Kane took the pot of food from Finn and I walked towards them.

Carmen grinned and held out the flowers. She was pretty with long black hair and hazel eyes. "These are for you, Luna."

Luna. I had to remind myself that was my new title and I now had a responsibility to an entire pack.

I smiled and took the flowers from her. They were violets, beautiful and vibrant. They instantly lifted my mood. "These are beautiful, thank you, Carmen." I looked at Finn. He had dark brown hair and blue eyes. "It's nice to meet you both, thank you for coming."

"We're happy to be here," Finn's Scottish accent was as strong as Carmen's. "It was an unexpected but happy surprise."

Kane shut the door with his foot. "Why don't you two take a seat and I'll plate this up for us?"

They nodded and I didn't miss the way they instantly held hands the second we freed them up. They looked like a beautiful couple. I didn't want to stand there awkwardly watching them so I raised the bouquet. "I'll put these in water now."

I quietly followed Kane to the spacious kitchen and he gestured towards the cupboard where I could find a vase. I put the violets in water and then turned to watch him plating what looked like paella.

"It was really nice of them to bring food," I spoke quietly. I wrapped my arms around myself.

Kane looked at me over his shoulder. "Yeah, they're great. They've brought over food every time I've returned from the treaty revision."

I smiled. Being in a pack meant having a community of people who would always be ready to help you when you needed it. "Do you like to cook?"

He nodded. "I do. I like to think I'm good at it. You can be the judge when I make breakfast tomorrow."

I chuckled and looked at him with curiosity. I had spent the whole day with him and was only beginning to see what he looked like when he was comfortable. I assumed it was because he was back with his pack and no longer had to be on the defensive. The ice around him had begun to melt as soon as he saw his betas.

Would I still be scared of him if I saw these different sides to him? I tried to bury my fear but it seemed engraved in me. I felt on edge like I was unsure if I was being lulled into a false sense of security or not. Then he'd shift and I'd be face to face with his wolf side—the true face of my fears.

I shivered at the thought and he caught it. He frowned. I was hurting him. My lips parted to apologise as a reflex and he shook his head.

"You don't need to apologise, Rina." His voice was low so Finn and Carmen couldn't hear him. "But why do I have the feeling there's something you're not telling me?"

That I had dreamed of him killing me before? He would think I was crazy. I switched the conversation on him instead and kept my voice low too.

"I tried to kill you. Why don't you hate me? Why aren't you scared too?"

He turned away from the food to look at me properly. "You thought I was trying to kill you. I understand why you reacted like that. But then we learned that we're mates."

I wanted to ask why he was chasing me but I just wanted to forget that it ever happened.

"Doesn't that make it worse?" my voice shook.

He stepped closer towards me and I willed myself to stay rooted in my place. "Rina, I never thought I'd have a mate and I have wanted one for so long. I'm not scared of you and I don't hate you because I'm not willing to waste this chance. You don't have to be scared of me."

I tried to find comfort in his words. His confession that he had been yearning for a mate struck me in the heart. Ever since my twenty-first birthday, I wanted to be wanted.

But three years of nightmares and battling with all the fear that came with it couldn't be undone easily. And although the nightmares had stopped, sleep didn't come easily to me that night.