"But Mom- I hate boys, boys are gross," I protested, pouting in my Mom's arms as we walked to the park.

I meant it-

Boys are gross.

Super gross.

"Come on sweetheart," she scolded lightly, "you love Auntie Kuchel right?"

of course i know auntie kuchel

i love auntie kuchel

her warm smile, the candies she carries around in her purse, the way she laughs at every single joke

"I love Auntie Kuchel- but Auntie Kuchel isn't a boy, she's a girl. There's a difference- girls are nice, boys are gross."

"Auntie Kuchel would be sad if you acted like that in front of Levi," my Mom frowned over dramatically.

levi ?

"Levi sounds gross," I scoffed, my five-year-old brain already coming up with what 'Levi' looked like.

gross

"Levi is Auntie Kuchel's nephew- give him a chance Y/N you could be friends! Wouldn't that be fun?"

no it sounds gross-

boys are gross

i don't want that

"I don't like boys, they're gross," I sighed, in the way that little kids do when they're just about to throw a fit.

"Y/N- I mean it, be nice to him."

i don't want to

"Play nice," was the last thing she said before we rounded the corner to the park.

fine . not because i want to though .

"Are you going to say anything?" I frowned, the little boy across from me was staring intently into the murky water of a puddle left behind by a recent rainstorm.

see- boys are gross

Auntie Kuchel and Mom were sitting on a bench talking quietly.

i'm only doing this because auntie kuchel told me that 'levi' was different

i don't believe that

he doesn't look different-

he looks like a boy

gross

"You're quiet," I crouched down next to the puddle, poking at a leaf with a stick.

i guess it isn't that bad

even if he isn't saying anything

maybe that's better

"Uh-huh," Levi spoke for the first time crouching down next to me- reaching wordlessly for the stick.

you could at least ask-

levi you're weird

you don't talk and you've decided to stare at this puddle when we could be on the slides

"Aren't there more exciting things to do then poke at leaves?" I handed him the stick.

has he never used the slides before ?

"Maybe."

"Why aren't you doing that then?" The leaf which had been floating aimlessly sunk underneath the water, it's vibrant green color clouded murky brown.

"I don't know."

"You're weird Levi."

but you're not gross

i've decided that

boys are gross so maybe levi isn't a boy

in that case we can be friends

five year old me was right, boys are gross.

but he's different.

It's 6th grade- we're entering junior high.

"You're lucky that we're in the same class," I beam walking side by side with my friend Levi.

definitely not my best friend-

levi is a boy

and i'm pretty sure that, that means that we can't be best friends

at least that's what some of my other friends last year told me-

but they're not in my class this year

so it's just me (y/n l/n) and levi ackerman

me and my almost best friend

"Aren't you the lucky one?"

:/

"Unlike you I have other friends," I grumble in response, the sun casts a golden tint over everything as we walk home.

even if they aren't in my class this year

"Whatever, I'm not doing any work for you, don't get your hopes up."

levi manages to crush my dreams immediately

"Not even if I get sick?"

"Not even if you get sick."

"You suck Levi."

"If I sucks so much, why don't you walk home with your other friends?"

that's rude

it hurts a little

but not that much- i mean he's not my best friend

just a friend

an almost best friend

he's a boy

yuck

"My other friends don't live nearby."

that's a total lie nanaba lives a couple houses down

if levi knows that he doesn't say

he just rolls his eyes and stops in front of my house

"Bye."

"Bye Levi- don't get sick. I won't do any of your work for you either," I wave running inside.

i get sick

screw you levi

i don't know what you did but it's totally your fault that im like this

and i'm totally not forgiving you for not doing my work

you're a bad almost best friend levi

I'm sick for nearly a week and when I get back into class I see you sitting at your normal spot, the window seat in the back corner.

i'm totally going to chew him out-

Something is different-

who are those people?

why are they sitting in my spot?

did he get other friends?

wait why am i upset?

i have other friends so-

maybe i'm just like this because i can't make fun of him for it anymore

that's definitely why

The boy and the girl standing at your desk (sitting in my spot) are named Hanji and Erwin. They're nice- Levi has good taste in friends, but what can I say? I mean he was friends with me first so it was obvious.

still i'm a little bit upset-

levi ackerman is smiling-

and it feels weird

i'm so used to my almost best friend only smiling around me

on walks back home when i trip over my own feet

or after he receives opens the present i got for him- a replica of some teacup because he's weird and likes things like that

or when we race to finish our math homework and he finishes first

or when he stays over for dinner and we stay up late watching our favorite shows while talking way too loud

we get yelled at for it

well mostly me but that's besides the point

hanji and erwin are nice

i like levi's friends

i guess you could call them mine as well

but i can't help but feel weird about it

i mean- it's always been just the two of us

im a little bit worried

what if levi changes because of new people

what if i end up walking home alone?

did it really only take a week of me being sick for him to find new people?

how fast will he change?

he didn't do my work for me while i was sick-

he always does my work for me while im sick (and sometimes when im not)

would he do it for them?

The teacher extends the deadline for my assignments until the next Monday.

i totally forget to do it

"You forgot to do your work didn't you?" Levi smiles at my predictability.

yeah- ok maybe i did

"Maybe."

hanji and erwin definitely finish all of their assignments on time

"Why are you acting so weird," he rolls his eyes.

i don't even know myself

"I'm acting how I normally do, I don't know what you're talking about."

for an almost best friend levi picks up on things way too easily

"No you're not- I'm your best friend Y/N do you really think you could just lie like that?" He laughs, reaching into his bag for something.

what was that?

he said it like it was totally nothing

one of my other friends told me that boys and girls couldn't be best friends

"Here, I did it for you," Levi hands me the work, I like the way that my name looks in his neat handwriting printed on the top of the page, "copy it before class starts."

i think it's different

levi and i have known each other since he first came to live with kuchel when he was five

and he's different from other boys

he's levi

i think i can make an exception

"You're a lifesaver," I beam up at him, relief washing over me.

im his best friend and he's my best friend

hanji and erwin are nice but they don't get to be like that

y/n and levi- the two of us are different

i realize this in 6th grade

he got every problem correct on those assignments

It's senior year of high school, I'm in the library studying with my best friend- it's almost finals week and I can't focus.

oh god-

I think I'm in love with Levi Ackerman.

shit

"The fuck are you staring at?" Said childhood friend looks up at me from across the table, textbooks and empty bags of chips fill the space between us.

i'm in love with you.

"Nothing- what are you staring at," I roll my eyes back at him.

"I'm staring at you looking at me like I have shit on my face," he frowned, setting down his pen.

i'm staring at you like you have shit on your face because i just realized that i'm in love with my best friend

i don't even know if i can really call it that-

love ?

it feels right but-

it's a little bit scary

"Go back to studying."

i should be studying too-

god this is so unromantic

of course i have to realize that i find levi ackerman of all people unbearably attractive and ridiculously wonderful while we're studying in a stuffy old library

"Whatever, weirdo," he rolled his eyes, resuming his notes.

i'm in love with levi ackerman

"Is something wrong?" Levi asked later as the two of us walked home, the sky painted pink in the setting sun.

yes everything is wrong

we're supposed to be best friends forever

and now i've realized that there's a reason that my heart pounds every time you look at me

"I'm totally going to fail the test tomorrow-" I sighed, yawning loudly.

"You can't expect to do well if you spend the entire time we're studying staring blankly at my forehead."

"You're right but you don't have to say it."

"I'm just making sure that you know how awful your study habits are," we came to a stop in front of his house.

"Seeya then," I waved watching as he walked towards the brightly lit building.

"I'll text you my notes later."

"You're a lifesaver Levi."

I stood watching his house for a few seconds after he left before snapping myself out of it.

he's totally going to make fun of me if he finds out

I spend the rest of the night reading his notes.

i love his handwriting

i love the way it loops and curls

i love how illegible it is sometimes-

i love how my name looks in levi's handwriting

god im embarrassing

I grin uncontrollably (embarrassing) into my pillow until I fall asleep.

levi im in love with you

friends, best friends-

more

"I stayed up all night cramming," I yawned loudly walking back home with Levi.

the two of us side by side

"You're welcome," he quips- equally exhausted.

"Hey Levi?" I ask as we round the corner, the park where we first met is coming up.

im happy that you moved here

you're not gross

even if other boys are

"What is it?"

"Do you remember when we first met?"

"How could I forget the day my life got exponentially worse," he smiles, mocking me.

i know that he remembers it

i know i'm not the only one who remembers each and every little moment

it makes me happy

"We're about to pass that park," I point out- the road is littered with puddles from a recent rainstorm.

"We pass it every single day-"

yeah yeah

"I think I'm in love with you Levi Ackerman," I beam my eyes glued to the ground.

i think-

"I was beginning to think I would have to tell you that myself- like that time I had to tell you that we were best friends because you were on the verge of tears." The puddles reflect the colors of the setting sun, I meet his eyes, they reflect my own face painted in pinks and purples.

boys are-

"I love you."

"I love you too."

boys are gross.

i know it.

but levi ackerman is different.

____________

unedited <3 but i really like this one ! a little bit of inspo from some nayutalien songs and a little bit more inspo from some angsty gregory alan isakov songs bc my music taste rlly is all over the place . 

they 100% dont act their age but i rlly don't feel like changing it sooooo

anyway !! i hope u enjoyed my little (not really) self-indulgent fic

- ami