"I've seen the rain before," I boasted, kicking my feet up onto the grimy table we were all seated around.

Real rain- not the grimy sludge that makes its way down here.

"You're a shit liar Y/N," Levi rolled his eyes in response.

"I'm not lying Levi- I saw it," I pouted. "It was beautiful, you're just jealous that you haven't seen it."

"You've been to the surface Y/N?" Isabel questioned, leaning in, her eyes wide with wonder.

"Of course! I was up there for four whole hours before they found me and dragged me back. It was worth it- and besides, if I hadn't gone up I wouldn't have seen the rain- or met Mr. Criminal mastermind over here." I gestured towards Levi, grinning.

It was unlike anything I had ever experienced.

The cold rain washing over my grimy skin- melting the layers of dirt that clung to my skin.

A cold shower full of life.

"You should've stayed up there," Levi let out a long sigh, his eyes wandering around the dingey room.

"Liar you love me!"

"I'm with Levi- there's no way you, of all people, managed to get out of this shithole." Farlan laughed setting down a steaming mug of tea in front of me.

"None of you believe me- this is depressing," I groaned.

What do I have to do to get some respect in this place?

"I mean come on Y/N- you don't even know what stars look like, there's no way you've actually seen rain." Isabel parroted off of Farlan.

I promise you I'm not lying about this one.

"I can't help that when I went up it was day! I don't know what to tell you- other than the fact that it was real and magical." I drifted off into thought- reliving the moment.

The cold water.

More than I had ever seen-

Clean water.

"I'll tell you what isn't magical- spending 48 hours in a cramped cell with you." Levi groaned loudly, probably reliving his own memories.

"Oh come on- it was super fun. Like a 48 hour sleepover with less snacks and more lice."

We talked for a very long time during that 48 hour sleepover.

In the dark- we confided in each other.

Strangers, holding onto each word.

Scared of the silence that followed every sentence.

Scared of what sleep could lead to.

"Yeah, fuck that." Levi pushed his chair back, the wooden legs scraping against the floor, "we're starting early tomorrow." He murmured- and like that he disappeared into our shared bedroom. I felt something inside of me tense up as he left the room- as if he was gone for good.

Not just in the next room over- gone.

Leaving.

For good this time.

"The two of you should go to bed soon- it's late," I murmured pushing Isabel and Farlan out of the main room. Blowing out candles as I went.

There was something scary about the rain.

A certain coldness that drew me in.

I felt- in that moment before the Military Police caught up- completely at peace.

I was completely ready to give into the rain forever.

And then I was pulled back to reality and thrown into a cold jail cell.

A different type of cold.

And a different kind of warmth.

"You're so loud," Levi complained as I stepped into the room.

"And you're not?" I retorted flopping down in my bed- glancing at the blanketed silhouette that was Levi Ackerman in his.

You definitely weren't quiet when we first met.

"A hell of a lot more than you are-" he continued to grumble, shifting to face me.

"You don't deserve my silence," I paused, "especially not after lying to Isabel and Farlan."

I mean really- you make me seem like a liar.

"I didn't lie."

"Yes you did! You know I wasn't lying when I said I'd been in the rain before! You saw me- I was sparkling clean when we met."

There's no way I would have been able to accomplish that using the water found down here.

"I couldn't see you it was too fucking dark," he continued to roll his eyes.

"Yeah whatever shut up I hate you." I groaned turning away from Levi.

Love you.

"Goodnight Y/N."

"Goodnight Levi," I pouted.

And then-

"I love you," I whispered under my breath, a quiet secret, that I hoped would be carried off by whatever stale breeze managed to find its way down here, and forgotten.

I should have remembered-

This is the Underground- this is where things go to be forgotten.

There's no escaping this one.

"Stay safe," I murmured squeezing Levi's hand before he took off through the filthy city, Isabel and Farlan not far behind.

I mean it.

"Y/N! Next time we go to see the stars we'll definitely take you!" Isabel shouted back at me, waving quickly.

I'll hold you to it.

I smiled, one last smile at her before turning back into the house, locking the door shut behind me.

3DMG or whatever it was that the three of them were able to use never really made sense to me.

Or well- I didn't have the physical capabilities to use it.

A cough threatened to build up in my throat- the dust that hung heavy in the air of the underground had never been good for me.

"I see why you don't believe me," I hummed to myself- brainstorming a list of things to keep me busy while I waited for their return.

Isabel and Farlan were certainly new additions to our little family but that didn't stop it from feeling different when they were away.

The space left by Levi was deafening- still eclipsing their's

Something I still wasn't accustomed to.

All those years ago when we first met-

Was I aware of what was to come?

Were we just partners out of necessity? Was it friendship? Was it more?

Who's to say really.

The soft candlelight continued to flicker around the room- casting looming shadows on the wall.

Above ground- the sun illuminates the sky, the world is blanketed in light, not shadow.

Levi told me that- told me that his mother knew all about the world above.

Did the dust cloud his mind like it did my lungs?

We don't talk much about what's above anymore.

And when I did bring it up an heavy silence blanketed the room-

Later abrasiveness-

And now- avoidance.

I can't help it-

I'm curious of what's really up there.

Rain, stars, the sky, clouds, trees...

The rain felt so magical.

I know that if he bathed in it everything that he was holding onto would melt away.

A mere dream- the heavy weights in his heart forgotten.

Then maybe things would change?

We could start over.

I could get the courage to ask him-

"What are you thinking about?" Levi's cold voice startled me from my thoughts.

Has it already been that long?

"Just how much you would love the rain if you saw it-"

"I'm sure I would," he hummed, leaning against me.

"I hope I can be there the first time you see it- but if I can't then you'll have to come back so I can laugh at you for not believing me."

"You'll be there," Levi reassured me, the rumble of his voice lulling my eyes shut.

"That's a promise?"

"A promise."

I almost wish we hadn't made that promise-

I was there.

A cold rain- pulling you in, willing you to give in to it's unrelenting fury.

I hadn't experienced this before.

A storm.

____________________________

when i started this i was trying to do something with chinese satellite by phoebe bridgers but it got lost. not to mention it's storming super hard over here- there's sm thunder & lightning so it got kinda derailed. 

idk there are some details in this tht don't rlly make sense- like how she got above ground and why she was with levi when isabel & farlan died but it's a oneshot n i was just kinda letting my mind go.

im rambling <3 n e way the original idea centered around this bit from chinese satellite 

'took a tour to see the stars 

but they weren't out tonight

 so i wished hard on a chinese satellite

 i want to believe

 instead i look at the sky and i feel nothing 

you know i hate to be alone'

something abt it makes me think of levi esp. acwnr levi (although a lot of her songs do tht for me) okie doke gn

- ami