Chapter 13

When I got back home that evening, I wasn't sure why, but I headed to the music room.

My father was asleep and my mother was too engrossed in her writing to come around this part of the house right now.

I didn't want to have to explain what I was doing here, because I actually had no idea myself.

So, I sat in front of the piano, just staring at the keys.

Ever since I'd been pondering about goals to make for myself in the future and things I wanted to do, and just trying to find my passions in general, I'd been thinking about the piano.

I wasn't sure where music was falling in the category.

I'd been staying away from the piano for so long because it reminded me of my brother and because I wanted to hurt myself and keep the things that brought me joy away from me.

But things were different now.

I was happy. I was content.

Yet, the keys still felt as daunting as they always did.

This was probably something I could talk about Dr Boseman. I was going to see him this weekend. I would have a lot to talk about. I should start taking notes every time I thought about a subject to talk about. I was sure he would appreciate it.

I didn't know why I'd believe that I would suddenly be able to play a concerto just because I had a girlfriend now.

I still was a bit of mess. And that was probably an understatement.

Just because a lot of things made more sense now, and because I felt like I had my shit a little bit more together didn't mean everything was magically going to be alright.

Sometimes I really wished I could just be a normal guy without trauma and endless issues. I wish it was simpler in my head.

I ended up going to bed without playing any notes.

But I had a hard time falling asleep, and I ended up having nightmares.

I couldn't quite remember what they had been about, I just knew that I felt bad and a little scared and my heart was beating too fast and I couldn't seem to be able to calm down afterwards.

I was kind of glad Lexi hadn't been in bed with me. She probably would have freaked out.

And now I was kinda freaking out about the thought that maybe one day I would have a nightmare right beside Lexi.

And that just made me spiral more into the whole freaking out thing, so I just gave up and picked a random Emile Zola book to try to calm down and be bored to death. French naturalism was such a bore.

I managed to doze off just a little, but not enough to feel rested when I left for school in the morning.

I didn't pick up Lexi and Tyler because I had football practice after school and I didn't want them to have to find another ride again.

I found my Pumpkin at her locker.

As soon as she saw me her smile turned to a worried expression.

She walked up to me, pressing a hand to my cheek, staring into my eyes. "Are you okay?" she asked me softly.

I closed my eyes, leaning a bit into her touch and then opened my eyes again. "Yeah, I didn't sleep well," I just told her.

"That's never been a real issue, you barely ever sleep," she pointed out, knowing me too well.

"I had weird nightmares," I admitted this time.

"Do you want to talk about them?" she asked me, looking concerned.

Once again, I realized how nice it was to be able to confide in her. Before, I would have probably kept all the details to myself. I probably would have made an innuendo joke at her instead of replying with the truth and admitting my weaknesses.

But now I knew that I wanted to be truthful with her, always.

It wasn't just because she was my girlfriend and I didn't want to lie to her. It was because opening up to her actually made me feel so much better. It was comforting to know my Pumpkin was now there for me.

"I don't actually remember them. I didn't think I was going to have any now that things were better, so I guess it took me by surprise."

"Did the thought of seeing my boobs give you nightmares?"

I burst into laughter, and leaned my forehead against Lexi shoulder, shaking my head.

Trust Lexi Grayson to bring me out of any of my sour moods.

"What? This was a legitimate question!" my girlfriend whined, amusement in her voice.

God, I loved her. Each and every day I realized more and more how much I reaaaally loved her. It was only cementing more and more firmly in my heart.

"No, I did not have nightmares because of your boobs," I replied chuckling.

Dreaming about her boobs would have been another kind of torture. One I would have been totally okay with.

"See, this is what happens when you don't stay with me," she said, shaking her head a little.

I chuckled, kissing her forehead. "Yes, the universe has punished me for trying to resist my irresistible girlfriend."

"Exactly," she said, sneak attacking me with a hug. I tucked her head under my chin, holding her tight. "So, we should always be together so I can be right beside you to comfort you if it ever happens again."

"I kinda freak out when I have nightmares," I explained, letting go of her.

She tilted her head a bit. "Do you have night terrors?"

"Yeah, I guess I do..."

"Will you like, attack me?"

I hadn't actually thought about that, but now that she was saying it, I was a bit worried. But I wanted to trust myself to think I wouldn't be able to do that, conscious or not of my actions. "I highly doubt it."

"Either way, don't worry," she assured me, slipping her hand in mine, "stop looking like you've done something bad when you've literally done nothing wrong. I've agreed to date you knowing full well that you weren't perfect."

"It's just a little unfair that you have to deal with so many of my problems, when I have perfect little you."

Lexi stopped walking, pulling me a little closed to her. "Please, I'm the one who won the lottery in this couple," she said, looking up with me with a smile.

I grinned back at her, encircling her with my arms, pressing a quick peck on her lips. "No, I think I'm the one."

"No, no, I'm the one," she replied, pressing back a quick peck on my lips too.

"EW! Knock this shit out," one of the twins whined loudly in passing, hitting my arm with his binder.

Lexi snorted a laugh, while I just flipped him off, glaring a little.

I went through my day a little bit like a zombie, still feeling off. I was basically just sticking around Lexi like a lost puppy.

She actually found it highly amusing. She genuinely looked like she was enjoying babying me all day long. I guess I should have known this. Lexi always liked to take care of the people she loved. And now I was lucky enough to be part of this very exclusive club.

I got miserable again when I went to practice after school. Lexi wasn't there anymore, and Coach was in a mood.

We were all suffering.

At the end, we were all sitting on the ground after running drills with bottles of water.

"You okay?" Cameron asked me, before taking a sip of water.

"Yeah, I'm just tired," I replied, running a hand over my face. I was a sweaty mess now. I just wanted to find enough strength in my legs to get back up and go take a shower.

But I was too dead to do this right away.

At least I hadn't puked like Clark.

"His girlfriend is keeping him up at night," Trevor explained to his brother, making the guys sitting close to us laugh along.

I found just enough strength to throw my shoe at him. "Don't disrespect my girlfriend."

Trevor easily dodged it. "Are we wrong?"

"Yes, absolutely wrong."

Cameron narrowed his eyes at me. "So you mean to say that you're being all lovey dovey at school to make us suffer, because you're not getting your freak on after school?"

"Please have mercy on us and just fuck your girlfriend so we don't have to see you two being cheesy in love," Trevor added.

I flipped him off. "Watch out, or we're going to kick things up a notch and be even worst now."

"I don't even see how's that possible," Trevor whined, letting himself fall dramatically on his back.

I was surprised he still had enough strength to be this theatrical.

We chatted together for a little while, and finally I gathered the last of my strength and dragged my feet to the showers.

I drove slowly home, and was surprised to see a familiar car in my driveway.

I headed straight to my room.

And my Pumpkin was sitting on my couch, reading one of my books. "What are you doing here?" I asked with a grin.

"Anita let me in," she replied, looking up form her book, "and then I had a nice little talk with your mother."

"Did she curse you?" I asked sheepishly, walking up to her.

"No, I think I'm not on her shit list anymore," she replied.

"Anymore?" I asked, as I sat down on the couch, and then rested my head on her lap.

Lexi chuckled, running a hand through my hair. "You look worried Blakey-Boy."

I closed my eyes, reveling in the comforting touch. "Well, yeah. Were you ever on her shit list?"

"She's your mom and you were hurt because of me. Of course, I was on her shit list," my Pumpkin replied softly.

"No, no, this isn't right," I started to say, trying to sit up, but Lexi pushed on my shoulders, keeping me down. I didn't fight her on this. "I've told her it was all my own fault. Not yours," I added.

"Blake, if your son was ever really hurt, would you be blaming the person that help the hurting happen, even if it was his fault? You'd probably be biased because he's your child and you love him, and in your eyes, he can't do anything wrong."

I let myself think for a second about having a child with her. That was too much for my poor little heart to contain. It would probably burst.

"Oh, we won't be that kind of parents. If our children fuck up, we'll blame them for it and judge them in consequence of their own actions," I replied with a satisfied little nod.

Lexi looked at me with a little smirk. "Children? More than one?"

"We need at least enough to make a football team," I replied automatically.

"You want us to have twelve children?"

"At least," I nodded.

"Then Blake-Boy," Lexi gave me a look, and somehow knew I'd done something stupid, "we should probably start working on those children right now."

"I dug my own grave," I sighed, shaking my head.

Lexi laughed, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "You really did."

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Happy Monday my little Pumpkins! :D

How did you guys like this chapter? Real talk, the next chapters are all basically horny Blake and Lexi. And like, that wasn't my goal or anything, even the one that I'm uploading on Patreon today, it was suppose to be a fairly PG date. That changed reaaaal fast. Clearly I'm not the one in charge of the story anymore. These two are. XD

I hope everyone is doing great! If you didn't notice, I also uploaded Weird and Weirder earlier, so if you want to read more about Daphnee for this week (and Josh and Daphnee in general) make sure to check it out.

I'm really trying to have more of an uploading schedule. I've been spending a few of my evenings till like 11PM at the library to write and not be distracted by wasting time on my phone or watching tv shows or just falling asleep at the foot of my bed like an idiot.

So far, the writing has been going well, so hopefully I can keep this up and give you guys a lot more uploads! :D (and potentially finish some stories so I can start uploading new projects too). I think Tenth Knot and Life in Paintings are the next stories I'll be uploading. (and then Virgin and the Whore, and then Weird and Weirder again).

Anyway! I hope you have fun reading everything I write. I'm really excited to share it with you guys! :D

Alright. Back to writing and potentially throwing a bucket of ice cold water at Lexi and Blake. See you all next week! I love you guys! <3