Chapter 63

"Jayden liked to look at the stars. We used to sneak out at night and just stargaze. For a while he wanted to be an astronaut. He was actually good at mathematics. He used to help me with math home works. My parents were supposed to buy him a telescope for his next birthday. He never got it."

I'd been talking none stop about my brother, while Lexi just listened, asking questions here and there.

It felt strange, but also relieving to share this with my Pumpkin.

We didn't talk about him enough. We kept him safely hidden away in our hearts, and kept him dead that way.

"He played so many pranks on you, did you ever play a prank on him?" Lexi asked.

"Never one that worked." I chuckled. "Jayden was always ten steps ahead of me. I actually tried once to change the fillings of Oreo cookies with toothpaste, and he managed to switch them and I ended up eating one."

Lexi chuckled, trying not to make too much noise. "I wish I could have met him. I'm sure he would have been a lot of fun."

"Oh, it's probably best you never met him. You would have fallen madly in love with him."

"I don't know." My Pumpkin grinned at me in the dark of the night. "I think I like the Eaton boy I got a lot. Not sure I would want to switch him up."

I tilted my head, looking at her. There was faint light coming from the moon and the lampposts outside creeping through the window and I could see her face. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," she replied, and I pressed my lips to her grinning ones.

She was already in my arms, so it wasn't hard, to hold her against me, my hands going to her hair, keeping her close as I kissed her slowly, deeply.

Lexi suddenly broke the kiss. "Wait, no, no. No fornication at your grandparents' house," she hissed at me, trying to keep as quiet as she could.

I burst into laughter and then covered my mouth, hoping I hadn't woken up anyone. "Wow, this is refreshing, you resisting me? I missed this Lexi."

Unsurprisingly, she glared at me. "What?"

"I'd gotten used to the Lexi that rejects my advances," I replied, pushing a strand of her hair off her face.

My Pumpkin still glared. I grinned. "You want to go back to that time?" she challenged.

I shook with silent laughter. "No particularly," I replied, and cupped the side of her face, bringing my lips back to hers. My other hand snaked around her waist, keeping her close, and then headed down, pressing on her butt.

She kissed me back, almost making me grin.

I probably shouldn't be doing this. I was tempting the devil. I didn't actually want to do anything scandalous in my grandparents' house after all.

Our kissing was getting a little bit more feverish, and Lexi pressed her hands against my chest, pushing me away again.

"Stop it! I said no fornication," she whined.

I chuckled, pressing my forehead against hers. "Fine."

I pouted at her, and pressed a quick kiss on her lips, before situating us back in the bed comfortably, my girlfriend in my arms.

We were silent for a few minutes. I thought maybe Lexi was about to fall asleep soon. I'd realized after all this time sleeping together that my Pumpkin absolutely did not have my issue with insomnia. She could fall asleep almost instantly.

I had to admit, I was a little bit jealous.

"Blake?" Lexi suddenly whispered.

"Yeah?" I asked, snuggling into her.

"I wish I could give you back your brother," my girlfriend whispered.

I froze a bit, my eyes opening. I kissed the top of her head. "You did, in a way," I admitted. "Letting me talk about him. Helping coping with losing him. You've helped giving him back to me, little by little."

Nostalgia and longing still lingered in the room, but it was bearable. I could miss my brother without it being painful now.

After all, missing him meant he was still alive in my heart.

We feel asleep in each other arms like this, Lexi's hand running over my arm that was holding onto her.

The next day was more food, and more humiliating stories.

Around dinner time, Lexi was learning how to make homemade pasta with my grandmother.

I was shooed out of the kitchen because I knocked over a bottle of expensive olive oil and made a mess.

I went in the living room. My grandfather was sitting in his usual recliner, looking over documents. I assumed his head was still a little bit at the art gallery even during the holidays.

"Your grandmother seems to like her," he suddenly said, motioning to the kitchen with his chin, not looking up from his papers.

I grinned, sitting on the couch beside him. "I'm glad. Because I like her a lot too."

Grandpa set the papers on his lap. "This is so strange, seeing you with a girlfriend here."

I shrugged. It was still a little strange for me too. "What can I say, I'm growing up."

"It wasn't about you still being a kid. You were already an old man when you were a kid." I chuckled at that remark. "I just didn't see you letting yourself be happy with someone else before."

"Wow."

"You know what I mean," Grandpa told me, patting my shoulder. "Grief did a number on you and your parents," he added gently.

"I'm getting better."

"I know. Now, we just need your parents to get better," he said and sighed.

"Do you have any idea when they should arrive?" I asked. I'd texted them earlier, but I hadn't gotten a response.

"Tomorrow, I think."

I nodded.

My grandfather went back to his paper. I went back to my thoughts.

Looking at my family, happy and celebrating together, I was slowly realizing that maybe I wasn't the only one that needed therapy. My parents definitely needed it too.

We'd been so good at being sad together.

That needed to change.

So the next day, when my mom and dad finally arrived at the house, when Christmas had actually just passed, I went right up to them and hugged them.

They kind of froze when I did. Sure, they were used to hugging in general, but I'd been still a little cold with my parents, so the sudden show of affection surprised them.

The truth was, I was kind of tired of being mad at them. It brought me nothing.

They'd made mistakes. They regretted it.

I wouldn't be able to heal from these mistakes and move past them if I stayed angry with my parents. I wasn't forgiving them for them. I was forgiving them for myself.

It was time for all of us to heal.

"Blake? Is everything alright?" my mother asked, hugging me back.

"I'm just glad you're finally here."

____________________________

Happy... Wednesday? my little Pumpkins! 

So. If you haven't seen my instagram update, last week I was kind of... well, useless, because on the Saturday I worked for 13 hours, and then on Sunday my legs basically were useless and I got a nasty cold that lasted all week (basically lost my voice). I'm still a little under the weather, and I had a bunch of things to do last weekend, so I still didn't manage to do any writing. I finally managed today to get some writing done after work. I'm very sorry for making you wait. I decided to take a week off uploading, because I was really under the weather. 

I'm still tired. I wasn't able to do any writing last week, and it annoyed me, but it's like a never ending circle. I'm tired from work, so I'm always out of it when it comes to my writing, and I have stuff planned all the time during the weekend so I barely have time to do any writing, and I would like... really enjoy it if everyone could leave me alone and let me write and sleep, and just like... stop having a thousand things planned for me every day. :') I just want to be left alone to my silly little stories. Ugh. 

So yeah. Sorry for complaining. September has gone by way too quickly. I need vacation. From work, and from social activities. I think my social battery is at minus 50. 

Alright. I shall leave now. Try to get more writing done. Hopefully this weekend I can be left alone and have the chapter up in time! :')

Love you guys! Thanks for being patient with me and understanding! <3