Chapter 16

It was a voice message that was sent out in whisper and urgency, as Shivay could deduct from the speed of the words. The message was from Annika's phone in which Vihaan had invited him to his school's annual day celebration where he was not only going to get prize for the presentation that he and Shivay worked together, but also going to give a speech. In Vihaan's words, 'Thanks speech'.

Oh! That boy is really cute and Shivay missed him.

Shivay was not given the luxury of time to process if he was going to attend the function. The voice invitation came out in the morning and the function was in the evening, precisely two hours later.

Shivay had no contact with Annika after the last time they met in the cafe and decided on a heartbreaking result for their burgeoning feelings. However, that in no way meant that he didn't think about her. Every waking moment, he spent in sometimes vague and most of the times definite thoughts of Annika. Now, that she knew about his feelings, he felt less guilty about thinking about her albeit they had decided not to hope for a future together. Shivay's only explanation to this somewhat self hurting act was that he will one day be left with no imagination or hope and then he will go back to his old sulking life.

To receive such a tempting invitation from Vihaan felt equal parts doom and prospect. At least he doesn't have to sell an awkward excuse for his desperation to meet her. He was aiming to collect as much as memory he can with her, so that he will never feel short for a lifetime.

Picking a well ironed blue trousers and matching it with crisp beige T-shirt, Shivay decided to accept the invitation eagerly and gracefully.

***

Annika was surprised to see Shivay waiting in front of the school gate when the auto pulled over. Seeing Vihaan run towards Shivay with huge smile, screaming "Shivay uncle, thanks for coming." was proof enough to know who had invited him.

"Hi." Shivay said as Annika stood in front of him.

"Hi."

The past days Annika has given herself a task to not think about Shivay. For every time she thought about him, she would start playing one round of the game that she recently downloaded in her phone. She is convinced that it helps, but just saying that Annika is the top ranking player in the game internationally with most rounds played.

She had all the rights to ask Shivay to leave. Any complications thrown in the way of their decision should be avoided vehemently. But, all she could do when she saw Shivay was flush like a teenage girl and rub at the place where her treacherous heart skipped a beat.

Guilty pleasures are allowed her father told her every time he would sneak a sweet hiding from her mother who was hell bent on keeping his diabetes in check.

Now, when prospect of Shivay spending next two to three hours presented before Annika. She repeated the same to herself. "Guilty pleasure is allowed."

Shivay was a common man with common dreams and the major portion of his common man dreams with a family of his own were conjured in the setting of a public gathering where he could flaunt the perfection his life is. After the diabolical turn of events in his own life, Shivay was sure he can never feel anything close to pride in public. However, this God sent moment, seemed like one of those illusions that is showered upon one so that one can experience even though isn't entitled.

Annika by his side going over the pamphlet that listed events of the day counting how many minutes before Vihaan's vote of thanks, Vihaan in his lap reciting the speech while Shivay is making corrections on pronunciation , seemed like a scene Shivay can capture in memory and visit even as he gets old.

"It isn't February gathering. The word doesn't change based on month. You should say august gathering only." Shivay laughed heartily as he corrected the confused young boy, while Annika beside him giggled hiding her mouth behind the pamphlet so that the Vihaan doesn't feel bad.

When Annika had gone to leave Vihaan behind the stage where his teacher will be waiting for him, Shivay had no hesitance mingling with the group of fathers in spite of knowing that this might be his last visit.

"Now, I know why my father never attended any of my school functions. It is boring." Said one man while everyone else joined with their complains.

"At least this school has pretty teachers."

Shivay put his head back and laughed. He didn't offer his two cents, but he just liked being part of a group of men discussing crap. He didn't realize he actually missed this part of social bonding.

"What's your kid performing?" a man beside Shivay asked.

Shivay was about to reveal, with a little hard heart, that he was only a guest and not a parent. He didn't want to make things complicated for Annika or Vihaan. However, before he could answer, the man on the other side bumped his shoulder and pointed at the direction of the stage saying 'guess your wife is searching for you.'

Seeing Annika looking around the ground, probably for him, he left the small group without a reply or goodbye.

***

The function went till 11 at night. Who would have guessed school could want their kids awake till that late ?

Vihaan has slept in Shivay's arms by the time Annika returned after a talk with Vihaan's class teacher. So, like a gentleman that Shivay is, he offered to drop them both home.

When Annika hesitated he said, "Come on, he is asleep. You can't wait late till uber arrives."

Music in the car soothed the silence and they both agreed that not talking suited them.

"Thank you so much." Annika said gratefully as she opened the door to step out. "I will get Vihaan."

But before she could exit, Shivay stopped her.

"We have been through this, Annika, I know. There couldn't be anything that can change your mind or the sensitivity of our situation. But, I just want to ask that...ermm... is there no way...for us?"

Annika froze at his question. It seemed like the kind of thing that she both welcomed and dreaded.

There couldn't be, could there?

"This feeling..." he waved his hand between them. "When we are together, you and me, me with both of you. It just feels so perfect. So magical and I can do anything to hold it dear to me if there is even one percent chance that we can work something between us. " Annika opened her mouth to say something, but Shivay stopped her. "Whatever you said the other day, I am completely with you on that. The effects can be very hard on Vihaan, but Annika..." his voice was desperate. "There will always be a second way out, right? Not every problem has only one solution. What can we do to make us work?"

Annika thinned her lips not knowing what to say. He was not asking her something that she wasn't asking herself. His desperation made her feel almost guilty.

"I..." Annika cleared her throat, but in actual she was only buying time before she says anything.

"Are we home?" suddenly Vihaan's voice from the back seemed like a saving grace for Annika.

They both looked at each other as if their eyes could convey whatever they wanted to say through words if Vihaan had not woken up.

Annika was disgruntled and Shivay was anxious.

Finally, not wanting to keep the boy waiting for whom they both were ready to make a difficult sacrifice in their life, Annika picked up him and went to her home without a word or a gaze.

***

Annika has always been selfish. Selfish when she left her newly widowed mother alone to elope, selfish when she clung to her ex-husband even after knowing he wasn't worth it, selfish when she decided to not abort her son. Deep inside that quality was intact in her still. While one hand, it played her as a selfish mother, on the other it stuck out his clutches as a selfish woman in her mid twenties who had more than half of her life ahead of her and the prospect of spending it with someone like Shivay tempted her as viciously as Lucifer tempted Eve.

Annika hugged Vihaan closer to and kissed his forehead. She loved him more than herself certainly. But, can she still love him after all hope and self love has depraved her? What use will he have for a cynical mother?

Annika could imagine herself toiling so hard in her life to the point of hating her own existence for lacking love and companionship that only a man can give her.

What if her hatred of self leads to hating her only son?

Annika will wish death upon her before she could be subjected to such fate.

Can Shivay be the answer or will he be one more impediment? She lost her whole life by trusting a man once. Can she take the risk again by trusting another?

Is he worth it?

It was thirty past five and yet Annika's tears hadn't dried. She wasn't sure if she had reached at a rational solution, however, she has picked a dreadful impulse that made her pick up her phone and type a frantic message.

Now, it was only up to him.

Shivay,

I want you to know that you are not the only one suffering from my harsh decisions. It wasn't easy on me. Nothing is easy on me. I am forced to take life changing decisions more often than most would have by my age. It isn't an excuse, just observation.

I thought about what you said in fact I have been thinking about it from even before you voiced it out.

I haven't arrived at a solution, only at a means.

Vihaan's school is organizing a summer camp for a week in the second week of April. I can afford it. I have applied for a personal loan to shift to a better place. So, I will have enough money soon. I cannot forget my duty as a mother. But, I can take a break. For a week.

I don't know if anything will change for us by having a week for ourselves. Just the two of us. But, I am willing to give it a shot. Just so I know at least how it feels. To be young and carefree once again.

I have two conditions.

One, this is the only time I am going to make up such excuse and be away from Vihaan. This will never become a habit. After that week, if we discover that no matter how hard we try we are not going to get a solution that doesn't affect Vihaan, then it will be end of everything. Even our friendship.

Two, I will not sleep with you.

Don't reply immediately. Sleep on it.

***

After last update, I was in two minds. One to make them wait for few more years and another to solve their problem sooner. I picked the second option because, if we give few more years to them Shivay will become more broken and Annika will become more accepting of her life. Then they will not be in a position to except more from life or just even simply to hope. Based on their situation, I feel they need each other more mentally and emotionally at present. Delaying will not play well with their story. So, I have decided to let them work on their relationship already.

QUESTION : What is the most cliché story that people who write fan fiction always opt?