Biyanka and i are really happy as i was learning to live in this cruel world. She knows about my life how terrible it is with my parents.

Love is a major part in life if u are not geeting it from your family you will try a source out side from some other person.

Biyanka has a boy friend i dont know why? She has a loving mother and a brother and a elder sister.

Who knows whats going on in the family?

...........

I finished not writing few exams and writing few.

Sam will evaluate all the papers so there is no chance of me getting through my finals.

I know how hard it is becomming for me to endure all these.

I always think to my self that i am not going to loose my self respect and i am strong beeing alone.

Its been so many days i dint smile or i was a bit happy.

I need happiness badly.

I need someone to spend time with...

I need some one to talk..

I need some one ...

Since childhood i am like alone feared with my parents and became so lonely.

Why is this becomming so bad day by day.

Why me?

Why me?

What have i done?

I need someone to hug

I need very badly

Tears welled i buried my face deep in the pillow.

I had a long nap.

I have ten days break before next semister.

My dresses were a bit torn. I got a needle and a thread to sew them.

I have done but few are in very bad state. I cant do anything to them but just throwing.

My father gave me 60 dollers to buy new cloths. I got few new ones which are on sale etc etc..

I dont have a choice as well my mom will decide them with all of them over sized for me.

I never asked them anything expensive.

I had many things. But i cannot ask them. I am punished so many times for no reason. So dont dare to ask.

I am fine with what i have.

Even they decide my sanitary napkins. So i dont have anything i like or comfortable. Beeing silent is comfortable for me and them.

Hope one day i can wear what i want.

Just i can hope. But am not sure.

I cannot expect best from future.

Just my heart asks for small things like a nail polish, some lipstick, eye liner, each one is enough. Which i like with my choice. Hope one day i will have them for myself.

My like was never a priority to anyone.

A tear escaped as i wiped away. If my mom sees me she might take a drastic step by slapping me, in front of every one.