I walk around the grounds and wonder through the gardens.

It's been two days since Henry stayed over. My thoughts keep going back to my bedroom with Henry. Nothing happened but I still feel like I cheated. I cheated my feelings towards Phillip. Maybe I didn't have feelings for Phillip. Maybe I have feelings for Henry instead.

My love life this year has consisted of a cheating fiancé, a slight man whore partner of the company and his brother who finally came to his senses and realised his fallen for me. I mean too much boy drama happening in my life. I have no clue where I need to be or to go with. I'm just lost and confused. I just need help. I just need a sign.

"URGH!" I scream to myself in the rose bush garden. "fuck my life!"

I walk in and around the now dead rose bushes. A few petals still attached to some brunches, so I pick them off. I hold them in my hands, lift them up into the sky and wait for the wind to take them away. The petals blow away in the breeze and I'm left looking up at the sky. I twirl around a few times with the breeze.

A few drops of white snow fall from the sky and land on my face. I smile to myself and start to giggle.

Snow keeps falling down, I keep twirling around. I stick my tongue out and wait for snow to land on it. It's cold and icy.

"You know," A voice from the distance speaks. "I haven't seen you this happy in a while."

I stop my twirling in the snow and focus on the person speaking to me. They walk closer and closer until they stop in front of me. My eyes widen.

"Phillip?" I look at him.

"Come to think of it, I haven't ever seen you happy!" He smiles and places his hands into his coat pockets.

"Phillip, what are you doing here?" I squeal to myself and run over to him. I throw my arms around his neck and hug him. He stuttered back, releases his hands from his coat pockets and hugs me back tightly. Tears start to fall down my cheeks.

"Well hello to you too," He whispers to me. He moves his head and looks me in my eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Phillip wipes the tears away from my cheeks and holds me tight in his arms.

"I'm just so lost and confused Phillip," I whisper, "I'm just glad you're here!"

Phillip kisses my forehead briefly and let's go of the hug.

"C'mon, we should head inside before it get's too cold," Phillip holds my hand tight and we walk back to the estate.

This is the sign I've been waiting for...

~~**~~

Phillip is a hit with my family.

My dad loves him and Alannah can't get enough of him. The boys don't seem to have to worry about Phillip, they all get along.

We are in the kitchen enjoying a pot of tea. Dad and Alannah sit next to each other, smiling and sipping on their tea. The twins sit on the other side talking to Phillip, whom is sitting next to me at the end of the table. Phillip hand is placed under the table and is holding mine.

"So whats the business like back in Australia?" Alannah asks Phillip.

He finishes his sip of tea and looks at her. "Business is booming now Mrs. Cavanagh. Isla and Jonathon have done a marvellous job at running the place. I'm just new and helping Isla get back onto her feet."

"Do you plan on staying much longer with the business?" My dad asks looking over at the pair of us.

"Only if Isla, Jonathon and the board extend my contract!" He laughs to himself. I smile at everyone knowing what they are thinking.

"Or until you someone offers you something better!"

We turn our heads and see Henry standing in the doorway to the kitchen. I let go of Phillip's hand from under the table and grab my tea cup. I take a nervous sip and look away from Henry.

Phillip stands and offers a hand to Henry. "Good to see you again Hen,"

"You too Phil," Both brothers shake each others hands.

Henry turns to look at me. "Can I have a word with you?"

Phillips head snaps towards to me. I nod at Henry, pick up my tea cup and walk out of the room with him. Henry guides me to the library just down the hallway. He lets me in first and I walk in, place my cup down on a table in the library and Henry shuts the door.

Henry quickly moves towards me, wraps one arm around my waist and the other on my cheek. He pulls me in close and kisses me quickly. He kisses me passionately, nibbles on my bottom lip and plays with my tongue.

I push myself off of him.

"I'm sorry," Henry breathes out. "I just wanted to do that before you break my heart!"

I catch my breathe. "What do you mean?"

"My little brothers here, with his hand under a table with yours," He steps aside, "I know what that means for me Isla."

"I'm sorry Henry," I close my eyes and put my head towards the ground.

"Don't be Isla," He holds my hand, "I should have never fallen for another guys woman. Especially you!"

I sigh out.

"I see the way Phillip looks at you and how you look at him," Henry lets go off my hand, "Phillip loves you Isla, whether he can admit it or not. He has true feelings for you. The first time we kissed in the car back in Australia was weird wasn't it?"

I nod my reply.

"I could feel it then, but I let my feelings get the better of me. I shouldn't have kissed you the other day and lead you to the bed like that. I'm sorry Isla. I just shouldn't have let myself go that far."

I hold Henry hands and lean up and kiss his cheek.

"I'm sorry for leading you on Henry," I whisper into his ear.

I pick up my cup of tea and head out of the library.

My family and Phillip are exactly where they are when I left them. I walk over to the sink and empty my cup out.

"Everything ok munchkin?" My dad says to me. Everyone turns their heads towards me.

"Yeah, I'm just not feeling one hundred percent. I think I'm going to go and lie down for a little. Just wake me when dinners ready." I smile back at them and head out of the kitchen, up the staircase and to my room.

~~**~~

I lay awake. I can't fall asleep at all that night.

Dinner was nice. A simple Roast Lamb with roasted veggies. Normal talk around the table but I kept quite.

I still felt guilty about Henry. He has feelings for me, but he's letting me go for his brother. After everything, Henry still lets me go.

I keep replaying what happened in the library over and over again. I toss and turn in bed and I can't sleep. Everything Henry said to me I was replaying. Every single word. Especially "Phillip loves you Isla," over and over and over and over. I just can't get it out of my head.

Because now I don't know what I feel about Phillip.

I get up and out of my bed, grab bunny and walk downstairs to the kitchen.

It's alittle colder downstairs, I wrap my arms around myself and bunny, to try and keep warm. The kitchen has the moonlight shining through the windows. I walk over to a cupboard and pull out a mug. I place the mug down, grab some tea and boil the kettle. I wait until it dings and then I place honey in, pour the boiling water and a dash of milk.

"Making a cup for me too?" in the most sexy sleepy voice.

I quickly turn and see Phillip standing in his pjs. Long sleeve t-shirt and flannel pj pants.

"Hi," I smile back to him.

"Hi," He smiles back to me and moves closer.

I grab a mug from a cupboard, place a tea bag and some honey into the cup and pour of the water into the mug. I add a dash of milk and hand the mug to Phillip.

"You remembered the honey?" Phillips takes a hold of the mug.

"Yeah, I wouldn't forget that." I take a sip of my tea nd sigh out in relief.

"You were quite at dinner, everything ok?"

I look away from Phillip and hug my mug.

"Isla, you can trust me," Phillip takes a sip of his tea and moves closer to me. He looks at me and places his mug on the kitchen bench."Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lie. I take another sip of my tea and then place it on the kitchen bench. I turn and stare out at the window and look at the moon. "Have you ever noticed how beautiful the moon is? Because it takes time to realise this. It took me 25 years to notice how beautiful the moon is."

"Isla, what are you going on about?" Phillip moves towards me and stands next to me looking out at the moon with me.

"Have you ever noticed it's beauty? The roundness with little craters and specks of cheese."

"Specks of cheese?" He looks confused.

"Yeah, didn't you know that the moon is made out of cheese?" I laugh at him.

"You're crazy Isla," Phillip puts a smile on his face. "What's wrong Isla?"

I let out sigh and look at him. The moonlight it hitting just right. He looks sexy and handsome and all I want to do is kiss him.

"Isla, you can tell me," He smiles at me.

I don't think about it. I just go with my heart. I lean up into him and press my lips against his. I wrap my arms around his neck to pull him closer. I try to make the first move with our lips but he pulls away and looks at me. He looks upset and mad at me now.

"Isla-" Phillip starts to say.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," I say ashamed. "I'm going to head back to now."

I grab my mug and bunny and walk back to my bedroom. I am completely ashamed of what I just did. He doesn't even follow me or chase after me. I close my bedroom door and slump against it and cry. I cry into my mug of tea and hold bunny under my arm.

***************************
Enjoy guys,

Don't have much for an authors note but the usual.
You know, vote comment and add to your reading listings... All that and blah blah blah.

Thanks guys,
Your amazingly crap author,
Krystal Waters