Hi. I feel a little better today.

After I stopped writing I went downstairs and talked to my step brother for a while. I apologized for acting like a jerk earlier and he claimed that he didn't care but I think he really did.

He still hasn't asked about what's wrong with me, but I know that either my mom or his dad told him. That's why he acts the way that he does around me. He acts like if he says one mean thing I'll start to cry, which is kind of true, but also kind of not.

I don't have any other brothers and my only friend doesn't have a brother either, so I've never really experienced one. But from what I've read and seen on TV, brothers aren't supposed to be as nice to each other as my step brother is to me. I wish he would just treat me like a normal brother.

When my mom came home I went in the other room and talked to her for a while, and that made me feel a little better. I kind of miss my mom sometimes, even though I still live with her. We don't really talk a lot anymore and it was nice to actually have a real conversation with her.

Then we realized that it was pretty late so I went up to bed and slept for about 14 hours. I guess I was tired from being so upset earlier. My miserableness made me sleepy. Is miserableness a word? Anyway, it felt really nice to sleep for such a long time. Almost like being dead but not quiet.

When I woke up this morning I called Maya and asked if I could see her. She told me to come to her apartment so I walked over there and we talked for a long time.

It was the first time that I had ever really said more than two sentences at a time to Maya. I just talked and talked and she listened to me. I felt like I needed to rant and I don't get to do that often because I'm too shy to talk a lot. Maya's a great listener, though. She likes to talk but she's good at listening too.

I felt a lot better after I talked to Maya. I felt so much better, that after I was done talking we made out on her couch for almost an hour. But again, I won't go into any details. Unless you want them.

Maya asked me if I wanted to sleep over, but only because it's really late and she could tell that I'm really tired and didn't want me to walk back home by myself. So I called my mom and told her that I wouldn't be home until the morning, that way she wouldn't freak out in the middle of the night and yell at me again.

I'm still at Maya's house now. She's asleep and I'm tired too but I felt like I should stay up and at least write a little, especially because my last journal entry was so sad and I'm not that sad anymore. Yeah, I'm a dork and I bring this journal everywhere. I blame you, Carol.

I guess all I really want to say is that I'm feeling better now. Yesterday was kind of a low day, and those happen a lot, but I think I really need to start reminding myself that it gets better. No one ever tells me that so I've decided to start trying to tell myself.

Wow, I feel so sappy now.

I'm probably going to fall asleep at any second now, even though I slept for most of the day. I still think it's the medication. I have nothing else to write about anyway, so I guess I'll talk to you later Carol. Goodnight.