Maya is obsessed with being outside and I'm obsessed with being inside but I think that's why we're such a good match. I hate leaving my house unless it's absolutely necessary but I guess Maya likes to spend as much time outside as she can.

I've been trying really hard to do new things recently, so I didn't put up a fight when Maya asked me to go out with her, I usually just follow along with what she wanted to do because I always end up having a good time.

Today we're at the park again but we brought a blanket so we could sit down together, and Maya promised that she won't try to make me go on any swings while we're here.

She's reading one of the books that she brought with her and I'm sitting here writing in my journal. Maya loves reading so much, it's really interesting to just stop for a second and watch her read because I can tell that she gets so lost in her books.

I'm still waiting for Maya and I to have a conversation about what our relationship actually is, since right now we're acting like we're just friends that occasionally make out. I guess I'd be fine with that, but I just want to make sure that Maya and I are on the same page.

Maya makes me really happy and that's all I can really say, there's no other way for me to explain it. Sorry if you were looking for more details on these new feelings that I'm experiencing, Carol, but Maya is pretty indescribable.

I just don't think I've ever been so comfortable with someone. For as long as I remember I've been awkward and quiet, even with people like my mom, who's with me all the time. I can't even say two sentences to my step brother without feeling sick, so the fact that I'm able to talk to Maya, someone who was a total stranger to me only a few weeks ago, is kind of funny.

I feel like I can talk to Maya about whatever and she won't judge me or say anything, really, she'll just go with it. Of course I don't always say everything that I want to tell Maya, I haven't told her about last March and I haven't told her exactly why I am the way that I am, but lately I've been able to open up a lot more to her.

Like, Maya knows what my favorite food is and what TV shows I like to watch and we always end up talking about this one book that we've both ready probably 5 times. I don't usually go around starting conversations with people about stuff like that, I just sit quietly and listen to people talk to me.

Maya is also really funny. She can make me laughed harder than anyone else, and making me laugh is not an easy task. My best friend can hardly make me laugh, and I've known him since I was 6 years old. Maya just has this way of speaking and telling stories that makes you smile, and her laugh is contagious.

I'm sorry that everything I've written about lately has involved Maya, but I can't help it. For the first time in over a year I actually feel happy, and I feel like that's an important thing to write down, right Carol? This is important.

Maya just told me that I look cute when I'm writing because I seem like I'm very concentrated. She also asked why I decided to keep a journal so I told her that you (I actually said "Carol, my annoying therapist who I'm forced to see") told me that I had to. Maya said that she keeps a journal too and then proceeded to tell me about a specific brand of pen that's her favorite and said I should get some and that was it.

She's so cool, like what other girl would go on about their favorite brand of pen?

We just talked about leaving the park and going back to Maya's apartment for dinner so I'm going to finish up writing while Maya finishes reading the chapter of her book that she's on. She looks so cute when she reads, I'm not even kidding.

I just want to say quickly that I feel good today and you should also be proud of me for actually trying to get out and live my life instead of hiding in my room. I guess outside isn't too bad.

See you later Carol.

P.S. Sorry I told Maya that you're annoying, you're actually not that bad, Carol. Have a good rest of your day.