I'm really sorry that I haven't written in a while, but I've been trying hard to actually go out and do things instead of hiding away in my room every day.

The day after the party Maya and I went out to lunch again and then she asked me to come back to her apartment. I was kind of nervous but I agreed anyway and then when I got there realized that it was stupid of me to feel nervous because there was nothing to worry about.

Maya and I sat on the couch and watched TV, she likes all of those home renovation shows on HGTV and I was fine with that. I was kind of scared because of what happened at the party the night before, I didn't want Maya to expect us to, like, make out all the time.

It was fine, though, Maya didn't make me do anything, she didn't even mention the fact that we kissed at the party the night before. That made me feel a lot better, because even though I enjoyed kissing Maya a lot at the party, I wasn't sure if I was ready to make it a regular thing.

But then later that night we kissed when we said goodbye and I realized that it probably was going to be a regular thing.

A couple days ago I invited Maya over to my house. She'd only been here once before, and that was when I freaked out and broke the lamp. I got to properly show her the house this time and even though my dumb step brother was here I didn't really mind, because he left me alone since he saw that I was with a girl.

We ended up in my room, on my bed, but we didn't do anything bad. I mean, not too bad. I won't give all the details, because I really don't think you want to hear about all that, Carol.

After a while we went back downstairs and watched TV in the living room while my dumb step brother and his annoying friend were in the kitchen. They're always in the kitchen, and I have no idea why.

It took about 10 minutes for my step brother to come in the living room and start asking me obnoxious questions about who Maya was and why she was there. And Maya was right next to me, so it was super annoying and rude of my step brother to ask all of those questions when she was there.

I got kind of quiet after that because I felt a little put on the spot and then my step brother left and Maya kept asking me if I was okay, and of course I was okay, I'm always okay, but I was kind of annoyed with my step brother and with the fact that Maya was so concerned just because I wasn't talking a lot. I was just being quiet, that's happened before, whatever.

All I really want is for Maya to treat me like I'm normal. And most of the time she does, don't get me wrong, but it seemed like she was babying me a little by constantly asking if I was alright and I didn't like that.

To make everything worse, my mom came home a few minutes later and OF COURSE she had to come in the room and ask me if I'd taken my meds. I'd forgotten, obviously, so I jumped up off of the couch and went to go take them.

When I got back to the living room Maya was still sitting on the couch. I expected her to ask why I had to take my meds or at least what they for, but she didn't. Instead she just caught me up with what had happened on the TV show while I was gone.

Yesterday I went shopping with Maya again. She likes to shop, but she doesn't shop for clothes, she only shops for a weird variety of stuff like socks and albums and books and pretzels. A very specific brand of pretzels.

My friend had a girlfriend a couple years ago and he said that shopping for clothes with her was just like shopping with his mom, and I hate shopping with my mom, so that's why I was kind of nervous when Maya asked me to go shopping with her but when I realized that she really just wanted pretzels I felt better. It didn't feel like shopping with my mom at all.

I don't know if Maya is my girlfriend or what, but I kind of hope she is. I feel really good when I'm around her, I don't know if I would say happy, but I feel good. I think I really like her and she's the first girl I've ever seriously liked before so I hope this all turns out okay and I hope she likes me back. I don't know if I can take her not liking me back.

So I guess I've been doing pretty good lately, I'm sorry I didn't write a lot in the last few days but I hope that I was able to recap everything for you, Carol.

I'm actually with Maya right now. We're sitting on my bed together, she's reading and I'm writing. I think we make a pretty good pair but of course I think that, I'm kind of biased.

I'm going to go now, though, because I don't want to spend all afternoon writing when I could be spending time with Maya. I'm pretty sure we talked about going out to get lunch later, Maya says that there's this restaurant downtown that serves everything in really tiny portions, and she thinks that I would enjoy it because usually I start to feel sick if I eat too much.

I'm really excited about that because I love food but I hate feeling sick.

So, yeah. I kind of like my life right now and I don't know why, because this never happens. I feel pretty good.

Bye Carol, I hope you have a nice day or night or whatever.