I don't have much to write about again, sorry.

My friend called me this morning and asked if I wanted to hang out, but I told him that I couldn't because I'm really not feeling very good. He said that he could come over for a while and we could just play video games, but then I had to remind him that I broke my Xbox. He said that we could rent a movie or something and maybe order a pizza, but I said no to that too.

I feel kind of bad, I keep pushing him away, but I can't help it.

I've been doing that a lot recently, I've been pushing people away and I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. Because of what happened last March you would think that I'd want to talk to people more, but I don't. I want to keep to myself, just like I did before. I don't know how many times I have to explain that I would rather keep everything inside than try to get help.

My new step dad came by with my new step brother, who's actually adopted, and I was forced to talk to him for a while. He's nice, I guess. He's my age and he likes some of the same bands as me.

He went to a concert a few weeks ago, before the wedding, and he showed me a few pictures from it. My mom didn't let me go to the concert because it was too soon after all of the stuff that happened to me in March, she didn't think it was a good idea. I guess she was right, I probably wouldn't have had a very good time at the concert anyway. Too many people.

My new step brother isn't that bad, I guess, I'm just not used to him yet. He's been coming around my house a lot lately and that totally makes sense, because his dad is now married to my mom. I just don't like the idea of a person that I barely know being on my house.

Everything was going okay until my mom came in the room and asked if I'd taken my medication, then my new step brother started asking all of these questions.

"Why do you take a medication?"

"Are you sick? Are you dying? You're sick, aren't you?"

"Does my dad know that you're always popping pills?" And then, "Dad! Do you know that he takes some kind of medication?"

Yes, his dad knows that I'm always popping pills. He even knows about what happened last March. My mom obviously told him about it even though I wish that she hadn't.

I think it was pretty inconsiderate of my new step brother to ask all of those questions. And rude. It's none of his business that I have to take a medication. If the roles were reversed I wouldn't make a big deal about it at all, but that's probably because I never want to make a big deal out of anything.

I got kind of mad at my step brother and went back to my room after that, because I didn't like the way he was treating me. He made me feel different, but not a good kind of different.

Since I was a little kid, my mom had been telling me that I was special. I hate that word now, because I don't feel special at all, I feel the exact opposite of special. I don't think a single thing about me is special and that makes me sort of sad, because I know that there are people out there that really love themselves and I don't think I'll ever be able to feel the same.

I just fell asleep for another 3 hours and now I'm awake and hungry but I can hear people talking downstairs so I know that my step dad and step brother are still here. I don't want to go down and get food, I'm too scared of being interrogated again. I doubt my mom will bring some for me either, not unless I text her or something to remind her that I'm still here.

I'm still tired and I don't feel well so I'm probably just going to go back to sleep. I'd rather sleep than just stare up at my ceiling thinking. Noting good ever happens when I think too much.

I'm so sorry for not writing a lot, I just have nothing important going on. I'm supposed to see Maya in a few days, so maybe I'll be able to write more then.