Chapter 2

"Look at this! P’Zee looks absolutely handsome at the event today."

Nunew snapped awake from his restless slumber. His chest heaved with rapid breaths, and he felt a dull ache in his heart. Looking down at his trembling hands, he waited in silence for his body to stabilize. It seemed he had forgotten to keep track of his medication schedule during today’s two flights.

While Nunew was still gloomily debating whether to call the flight attendant for some water, the lively chatter from the row behind him continued.

"Need you even ask? Our P’Zee is always good-looking. Haven’t you seen the times his visuals had to carry those hideous station outfits on his back?"

Hearing this, Nunew couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle at the rather hyperbolic way of speaking. Luckily, he was wearing a mask, and the two passengers in his row were wearing headphones, so no one paid him any mind.

"Oh, stop it. Everyone knows the DMD styling team is hit-or-miss," the voice of the girl who had accidentally woken him earlier rang out again. "But you have to admit, DMD has grown so much more than before. That’s something to be happy about."

Nunew lowered his gaze, then fumbled in his pocket for his familiar wireless earbuds.

"I can’t argue with that. Lately, the station has gotten much better at media play; it’s saved us a lot of breath," he heard the girl mutter under her breath. "If only they’d been like this from the start, P’Zee’s career path wouldn't have been so rocky."

Nunew decisively used his earbuds to shut out the ensuing words. He leaned back, adjusting his mask slightly to breathe easier. He felt something heavy in his small heart—something he couldn't quite define.

Closing his eyes halfway, it seemed he no longer had enough clarity to remember asking for water to take his pills. He silently repeated the name that felt both strange and oddly familiar, but the music streaming through his earphones couldn't rescue his chaotic mind.

For the past year, Nunew had focused solely on his treatment in Australia, so he wasn't well-versed in Thai news, especially the entertainment industry. Yet, strangely, the name 'Zee' sounded incredibly familiar.

Nunew didn't know who the man named Zee mentioned by the two girls was. He guessed he must be an artist, as he had heard them mention a station called DMD. However, that wasn't what concerned Nunew. He was only wondering: What do Zee and DMD have to do with my life?

Why does my heart feel so restless?

Nunew felt his eyelashes grow damp, but he didn't bother to wipe them. Perhaps Ponn was right; there was no need for him to go searching for past memories. Maybe forgetting was his subconscious choice.

People only forget things that aren't worth remembering.

The name Zee has nothing to do with me, Nunew kept telling himself until the plane touched down at Suvarnabhumi Airport.

Flying from Melbourne to Bangkok required a layover, so even the shortest trip took over ten hours. Nunew had to transit at Kuala Lumpur International Airport for nearly three and a half hours before he could finally return home. He had departed from Tullamarine around one in the afternoon; accounting for flight time and time zones, it was after midnight by the time he arrived in Bangkok.

Contrary to the myriad of emotions Nunew had imagined, returning to his homeland felt little different from stepping into a foreign land.

He struggled to haul his luggage toward the gate on the second floor, his body swallowed by the crowd moving back and forth. It felt as though both his body and soul were adrift among countless people sharing the same language. He didn't want to admit it, but he missed Melbourne and Ponn a little.

Beneath his loose sleeves, his hands were clenched into fists, nails digging into his skin.

"Nunew! Over here!"

While Nunew was standing there dazed, unsure of what to do next, a relatively loud voice pulled him back to reality. Startled, he instinctively turned toward the call.

His vision was slightly obstructed by his thin, long bangs, but he could still make out a figure waving at him.

The night in Bangkok didn't seem so terrifying anymore, Nunew thought. Because, under the yellow and white lights of the airport, he had found the people who gave him a reason to return to Thailand.

"My child, how did you get so thin?"

Perhaps because they hadn't met in a long time, or due to his memory loss, Nunew was initially a bit awkward with how his family expressed their affection. Even though he had imagined his parents' endearment and his brother’s care many times, when he was actually being looked after like that, he felt an indescribable shyness.

Lying in his mother’s lap in the back seat, Nunew felt flustered but not uncomfortable at all. His mother gently stroked his gaunt cheeks, murmuring questions that left him unsure of how to answer. Nunew had seen photos of himself before—he used to be much chubbier back then. Therefore, he didn't dare explain that this was a side effect of his treatment.

Seeing that Nunew remained silent, his mother didn't say more. She quietly covered his eyes with one hand and rhythmically patted him with the other.

"If you’re tired, just sleep."

Nunew breathed in his mother’s scent, and his confusion gradually sank into the quiet darkness. This sense of security was both similar to and different from what his uncle’s family had given him in Australia. Nunew couldn't describe how they differed, but he was certain of one thing.

This is where I belong.

Whether it was the lingering exhaustion from the long flight or the comfort of being with his family, Nunew truly fell asleep. A full, peaceful sleep, as if he had never known the feeling of endlessly waiting for the dawn.

Life after returning to Bangkok didn't change much compared to Melbourne. He still spent most of his time eating then vomiting, taking medicine and enduring its side effects. Watching him like this, his parents felt utterly helpless, despite their constant encouragement and attempts to improve his nutrition.

The greatest helplessness for parents is the inability to bear their child's pain for them.

Nunew understood their feelings but didn't know how to soothe them. All he could do was try.

Try to eat an extra portion of rice each meal. Try to delay the onset of nausea. Try to smile more at everyone. And try to forget certain dreams upon waking.

Fortunately, his brother Tee was a doctor and could help reassure their parents. Tee had read Nunew's medical records, spoken with Ponn, and even contacted specialized colleagues for solutions. The answer remained the same: they had to wait until he could stop the medication.

But when he could stop, Nunew didn't know.

Every time Nunew passed the shelf displaying the medals and certificates he and Tee had earned, a sense of profound shame welled up from within. How did the Nunew of the past live, to end up like this in the present?

He wondered, yet lacked the courage to seek the answer.

Call him a coward if you like; he had never intended to investigate. It wasn't that he wasn't curious, but his heart wouldn't allow it. He was beginning to realize that perhaps he should learn to let the past sleep.

As if the Nunew of the past no longer wanted to wake up.

After their youngest son had been home for nearly a week, his parents finally couldn't take it anymore and began planning to take him out. Tee was tasked with convincing him. They all realized that Nunew seemed to have no intention of stepping foot outside. Or more accurately, he didn't dare to.

Initially, Tee thought he was the only one who noticed, planning to observe his brother for a few more days before informing their parents. But he had forgotten—they were family; how could they not see the problem? Nunew might not remember, but they had witnessed him being terrified of the outside world once before.

And this time, the Perdpiriyawong family would not allow that scene to repeat.

Surely, no one expected that a small trip would become the pebble that stirred the deep pool of memory within the youngest son of the family. Like a saying Nunew had heard somewhere:

Some people are destined to meet again, sooner or later.