Chapter 8

Nunew remained silent after Tee’s explanation. He had enough clarity to understand that, given the situation, P’Tee had no choice but to bring him to the DMD office. Yet, despite his attempts to reason with himself, his body refused to accept the current circumstances.

​Nunew thought it might be better to try and sleep a bit more. His hand trembled as it fumbled for the familiar, large, and warm hand of his brother.

"​I don't want to..." he pleaded in a small voice, "...see them."

​Tee gently brushed Nunew’s hand aside. "I know."

​Nunew felt a brief surge of panic as the warmth left his palm, but in the next second, his entire body was enveloped in a soft blanket. And that warmth returned to him.

​"Sleep a little more, Nunew. He won't be looking for you this early."

​Naturally, Nunew knew exactly who 'he' was in his brother’s mouth. He instinctively gripped Tee’s hand like a final lifesaving straw before his mind began to drift away with his heavy breathing.

​Tee silently listened as the labored breaths gradually stabilized. His eyes were pensive as he watched the small hand clutching his own so fiercely. It was as if he could see every vein appearing faintly beneath the owner's sallow skin. Tee gently stroked the back of that hand with his thumb, a lump forming in his throat. He felt as if his fingers were touching the very bones of his little brother.

​A moment later, once certain Nunew was asleep, Tee shifted his body slightly to fish his phone out of his pocket. With one hand comforting his brother, the other skillfully tapped out a message. Every so often, Tee would pause—first to check the IV bag, then the tubing—before returning his focus to the chat on his screen.

​Melbourne was four hours ahead of Bangkok, and since it was already past 7:00 PM, Tee didn't expect Nong Ponn his cousin to read the message immediately. However, he knew for a fact that once Ponn touched her phone, she would reply to him in an instant. Especially a message regarding Nunew.

​After reporting his brother's current situation, Tee began to piece together recent events.

​Truthfully, Tee realized he had been somewhat lax with Nunew lately. Due to the nature of his profession, he couldn't always be by Nunew’s side, so he mostly monitored his brother's condition through their parents. Fortunately, although Nunew hadn't been as close to their parents since returning home, he at least didn't resist them. Their parents could still enter his room to clean, which was their way of helping Tee supervise Nunew’s health.

​A few days ago, his parents mentioned that Nunew was nearly out of medication and asked him to check with Ponn if they needed to buy more. However, when helping Nunew pack, Ponn had prepared the exact amount of medicine he needed and sent Tee a detailed text. If he remembered correctly, the supply shouldn't have run out until next month at the earliest. How could it be gone so fast?

​Tee couldn't help but think of the haggard look behind Nunew’s forced smiles over the past few days. His finger habitually tapped against the phone screen; he didn't want to overthink, but he suspected Nunew had been taking more than his fixed daily dosage. Ponn had warned him about Nunew’s medication. Before returning to Bangkok, Nunew had been on this medicine for over six months, and she worried he might develop a tolerance. The trouble with patients building tolerance is that they often take it upon themselves to increase the dose, only to face a mountain of negative side effects.

​Tee’s pupils suddenly constricted. Images of Nunew flashed through his mind: Catching sight of Zee Pruk at Siam Paragon. Strolling through Kasetsart University. Fainting in his arms at Wat Suthat with Zee chasing after them. The moment he burst into tears, clutching Tee's hand and begging not to see the DMD brothers. A choked voice, tinged with the golden hue of the sun, echoed in his ears.

​"I can't remember what I was like before."

"But I’m really jealous of him."

​Tee’s heart skipped a beat; he only hoped he was overthinking. But... Tee swallowed hard. If it were truly as he feared, then how much had his brother remembered? Why did he act as if he knew nothing, to the point that even their parents hadn't noticed? Was it a desire to reject those horrific memories, or a fear of facing judgmental or pitying eyes?

​Questions flooded Tee’s head, yet the final thought that lingered was...

Living like that—doesn't it hurt?

​Tee sat stunned for a moment before mechanically typing another message to his cousin in distant Australia. His gaze returned to the frail boy curled up in the soft blanket on the sofa, with emotions he couldn't put into words.

​Screech...

​The sound of the door rubbing against the floor snapped Tee out of his thoughts. He looked up to see the man who had been absent during the crisis-management meeting with Aoftion now peeking through the door. For some reason, Tee felt a sudden urge to grit his teeth. However, he showed no outward sign of irritation, only gesturing for silence and signaling for the man to leave so Nunew could rest. Seeing Nunew’s current state, the other man lingered for a few minutes before dejectedly walking away.

​After a moment's thought, Tee carefully disentangled the sleeping boy's fingers from his own. Once finished, he stepped out quietly, leaving the door slightly ajar.

​"What exactly are you trying to do?"

​Tee spoke the moment he saw Zee’s back, which hadn't yet gone far. He could feel the man ahead stop in his tracks instantly.

​"You want to see Nunew?" Without waiting for Zee to reply, Tee continued, "To catch up on old times?"

​Tee’s lips curled into a mocking smile. In contrast, the expression on Zee’s face couldn't hide his flustered state.

​"No, I just wanted to visit Nu and..."

​For some reason, the term "Nu" coming from this man’s mouth sounded incredibly grating to Tee.

​"And what else?"

​Tee interrupted impatiently, his voice higher than usual. If Zee were standing close enough, he might have heard the grinding of Tee’s teeth.

​"Apologize? Or make amends?"

​Tee let out a short laugh at the intentions of these DMD brothers, which were as clear as day. He remembered vividly how his brother had collapsed because of the people he sincerely considered friends—family—especially the man standing before him.

​Back then, aside from Tutor, Yim, and Manager Leang, who else had believed in Nunew? Even James only confirmed Nunew’s innocence after noticing Kannika’s unusual behavior and the way the media targeted Nunew. Not to mention Net and Nat, who shared the same wealthy social circle as Kannika and surely wouldn't want to cause a scene. The rest of the brothers, including Aoftion, were hesitant and ambiguous—some feared Kannika’s backers, while others were gullible enough to believe the press and doubt his brother.

​Even so, Tee had never blamed them.

Human nature is inherently selfish; not lending a hand is simply the way of the world.

​If he were to blame anyone, Tee only blamed Zee and Aoftion. These two never stood up to protect Nunew, whether as a lover or as the CEO of his agency. Yet, compared to Aoftion, he loathed Zee more. Because Zee was the one who truly pushed Nunew over the edge of despair.

​"Don't forget, back then, you were the one who chose to side with Kannika and questioned Nunew."

​Tee would never forget the months Nunew spent huddled inside the house, terrified of the ringing phone or a knock at the door. He wouldn't forget Nunew’s lost, bewildered eyes as he faced the most vicious curses from social media and the countless stories in the press that turned black into white. The hopeless whisper on the day his brother left Thailand remained a haunting echo in his heart.

​"Wouldn't everything be different if I just died?"

​Tee realized he was overreacting. He took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure.

​"If you want to apologize to Nunew, it’s unnecessary—he’s lost his memory." Tee looked directly into Zee’s stunned eyes.

"Didn't you want to know where Nunew has been all this past year? Fine, let me answer you."

​Tee heard several footsteps nearby. That's good, he thought, cut it all off at once.

​"Thanks to your choice to abandon my brother, he hasn't had a single day of peace." Tee’s voice was devoid of emotion.

"He wasn't just turned upon by fans and criticized by the public; Kannika’s crazed fans called him to hurl abuse, found our home address to splash red paint, and someone even nearly broke down the door."

​Tee wasn't easily shaken, but just thinking of that time made his skin crawl. It was the first time he understood the harsh price his brother had paid just to stand beside Zee, the man he secretly loved.

​"Not long after that..." Tee fell silent.

​Not far away, quite a few DMD artists and staff members were silently lingering, eavesdropping on the conversation. Each had their own reaction, but regardless of who they were, they unanimously remained silent, waiting for Tee to continue.

​"Nunew attempted suicide with sleeping pills, but he didn't succeed."

​In a tone as light as a feather, Tee finally spoke the memory he wanted to erase the most.